by XjerseymamasX WASHINGTON D.C—On one fateful Tuesday, last April, Lawmakers voted unanimously to rename the state formerly known as, “Connecticut.” The Constitution State has been left nameless since its fate was sealed in the chambers of congress last spring,… Read More ›
XjerseymamasX
‘tacocat’ spelled backwards is ‘shut the fuck up’: a middle school memoir
by XjerseymamasX Recently, the “Pen15” trend on tiktok, and my totally, 100% normal level of liking the movie Bottoms has sent me on a trip to a specific borough of nostalagia-town. These types of media have made me feel… Read More ›
pregame push-up challenge (online exclusive)
by XjerseymamasX
breaking: dangerous objects found in halloween candy
by m477r1c3 BURLINGTON, VT — Burlington Police Department warns public about dangerous foreign objects found in Halloween candy this year. “Trick or Treat!” a young child dressed in a hot pink inflatable Among Us crewmate costume screams. Looking up… Read More ›
meet the wasps living in my dorm
by XjerseymamasX
ellen’s haunted halloween mansion
by XjerseymamasX Hi, I’m Ellen Degeneres, and welcome to my haunted halloween mansion party, y/n. You may know me from my work with the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund, namesake daytime TV show, or rampant lesbianism. Just like everyone else, celebrities… Read More ›
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by XjerseymamasX
american girl doll cuntometer
by XjerseymamasX & bazucca The American Girl Doll you owned as a child, or the one your really, really wanted is truly telling about you as an adult. Recently, XjerseymamasX and bazucca discovered the root cause of their tight bond– they… Read More ›
zoe 180
by XjerseymamasX Faithful readers of the Water Tower may remember my brave coming out as a hey mamas lesbian on page 8 last spring. This coming out was marked with character development such as an eyebrow slit, overworn polo shirt,… Read More ›