by emmaburns What is the Tarot card you need right now based on your deepest fears? A: Being alone. I am afraid I will always be lonely. That I will always be on the edge, and never a welcomed member…. Read More ›
emma burns
here’s how the gravy gets made
by emmaburns This past week or so brought the exciting yet controversial arrival of Yung Gravy to the UVM Patrick Gym for Fallfest 2022. The YikYaks were mostly positive, the Instagram comments leaned towards vicious, and the student planners were… Read More ›
drinking water makes you feel better
by emmaburns To most, the phrase “drink eight glasses of water a day” is one that is likely famil- iar. It becomes impressed on us by our parents, doctors, and disillusioned middle school gym teachers who for some reason also… Read More ›
slut pop: becoming the superpower bitch
by emmaburns It is mid-June, and I am coasting down a New Englandhighway with the windows down, exploiting my friend’sability to drive since I have none. I’m finishing ice cream,the sky is blue, and the first few notes of Kim… Read More ›
morbius: as told by someone who has never seen it
by emmaburns An indeterminate amount of months ago, I first laid my eyes on the trailer for Sony’s Morbius. Starring Jared Leto and Matt Smith and featuring impressively bland-looking cinematography, Morbius tells the origin story of a Spider-Man villain who… Read More ›
goblin metal is the next big thing
by d.ork Throughout all of rock history, artists have been striving to transcend the human capabilities of music production. Artists of the metal genre are known for their impressive technique, sprawling complex song forms, and dark or gothic subject matter…. Read More ›
confessions of a serially late attendee
by philbern I’m no catholic, but I’ve got a confession I need off my chest. I don’t think I’ve been to my first class of the day on time once this semester. I show up between 30 seconds and 10… Read More ›
music bros shut the fuck up
by emmaburns I’m a person who gets irritated pretty easily and regularly, so I can passionately complain about a great myriad of topics. But one topic that I have particularly strong feelings about is when men ask me “do you… Read More ›
veggies vs nuggets
by emmaburns The other day my friend and I decided to dine together at one of the finest eating establishments on campus. I am of course talking about Harris Millis dining hall -perhaps better known as the Grundle. In an… Read More ›
playlist for developing a god complex
by emmaburns Recently I discovered that if you sit down and decide to develop a god complex for yourself, even if it’s a mostly ironic decision, it is very possible that you will in fact end up with one. In… Read More ›