by oedipussy Imagine my surprise when I open my New York Times app to a startling photo of a middle-aged woman, staring through the screen with those piercing gen-x eyes. Who is it? Colleen Hoover. The New York Times was… Read More ›
water cooler
woman has misanthropic thoughts (shocking)
by maliajaffrani It’s just another Friday night where I am sitting alone in the bath, drinking another bottle of wine, scrolling through Tinder after I’ve redownloaded it for the fifth time after completely deleting my account. I’m bored, dissatisfied. I… Read More ›
overwhelmed by tyranny because my landlord exists
by xandersanders “OMG you had a shitty experience with your landlord? You’re so special that has never happened to anyone else ever…” To that I say, yes, I am not like other girls :). So let’s dive in. I moved… Read More ›
uh oh, my ghost is actually god?
by owencarpenter-zehe I first began to feel suspicious of a haunting when objects around the house began to disappear. I’d place my mug on the counter, turn my back, then poof it would be gone. The drawer to my desk… Read More ›
a message of welcome… to the students… of the future
by erintroiana Dear Prospective UVM Class of 2027, We know the college application process has made life into a lit crazy movie and things are intense, so we thought that we’d share some information to help you with your decision… Read More ›
off with their heads (metaphorically)
by thewhiterabbit I have nine roommates. This past Friday, we hosted a dinner. What is described here is not an exaggeration. All but one of our thirteen pots were used. The utensil drawer swung open, empty and the cabinets held… Read More ›
heartbreaking: can’t eat scorpion
by maxlevy From tales of snow white, to the simple canary who warns the coal miner of impending doom: humans have always dreamt of animals that can communicate. But i don’t know why people would ever dream of that, because… Read More ›
how 2 be the worst kind of person on earth
by sophiewolfe Have you ever wondered how to become worse? Have you ever looked at yourself and thought, yeah, it’s okay, but if only i could be just a bit more insufferable? I have a simple solution for you, you… Read More ›
world premiere of uvm: season 3
by ljmontgomery Hi cats and kittens! It’s a brand new season, and us cats are showing up for it this year, in a big way! This new year was full of promise. Luckily, a few things from last season didn’t… Read More ›
the tale of a man & his special master
by bs On September 5th it was announced that Donald Trump received a US district judge’s approval to have a Special Master step in to review “his” documents. So what the fuck does that actually mean? A Special Master is… Read More ›