by b.s The University of Vermont announced via small-plane-with-banner-attached-to-back this past Wednesday, September 23rd, that they would not be doing anything to address the concerns of students regarding the current status of UVM Dining. The banner read, “fuck you,” a… Read More ›
sept. 28
how to maximize steps on a night out
by grantwoods There’s an ancient idiom that says that it is not one’s destination, but one’s journey. Every night out is, conservatively, three quarters composed of what occurs outside of the sweaty, seedy basement. The basement is the only part… Read More ›
met gala: shortcomings
by clarefagan Ah, the Met Gala, the annual parade of very expensive people wearing very expensive clothing going to a very expensive dinner. Actually I’m unsure of the cuisine at the event- there could be a Trump White House McDonald’s… Read More ›
the making of the first issue
by writlarge I am writing this from the layout meeting for this issue of the water tower. Instead of reveling in the depths of our usually packed Google Drive, the top brass (ie me) are scrambling to produce articles just… Read More ›
shit talk is the secret to friendship!
by addisonschwarz April will forever be known as one of the shittest months of the year. It is impossibly cold, too dark, and just fuckin’ windy. Yet, this past April of 2021, its title of shittest month of the year… Read More ›
looking for friends: what are your thoughts on the matrix reloaded?
by joebortner As of late, I’ve been going through the filmography of the Wachowski sisters–best known for directing blockbusters such as the 1999 hit The Matrix or the cult Netflix series Sense8. The Matrix movies have always been a glaring… Read More ›
yik yak is bak (kind of)
by mattmcgotty I happen to be someone who missed out on the chaos that was Yik Yak’s initial run, so you’d understand my excitement for the anonymous, proximity-based social media app’s triumphant return out of nowhere a few months back…. Read More ›
better bad statues
by wtstaff UVM has bad statues. We can come up with ones just as bad but better 🙂 The earwax wall. Like the gum wall in Seattle but earwax Huge and I mean HUGE UVM letters in stone like 50… Read More ›
wonton woes
by, emmaburns All summer long, I’ve been thinking about the Wonton station at the Marché. While my friends were praising the variety, taste, and general quality of their college’s dining hall food, I was comforting myself with the thought of … Read More ›
sneaky link-edin suresh
by ihatebenaffleck23 Earlier this year, I got the LinkedIn Premium free trial, which meant I could see when any premium member viewed my profile. It was a thrilling experience to see all the little freaks checking me out each day…. Read More ›