by clairefagan The State of the Uni is quite alright in my opinion. Ice and snow have obscured the grass, we’re floating in the gulf between Groundhog’s day and Valentine’s day, and the omicron variant of covid has thrown a… Read More ›
feb 8
jeanne mance: deep in the trenches
by sophiewolfe & catherinefauver I used to be a human girl but now I am a germ. Just like that guy in The Metamorphosis who turns into a bug. Yes, I am soooo Kafkaesque. The reason for my transformation was… Read More ›
I have been personally victimized by subaru
by katlipari If you go into the back office of any Subaru establishment you will find a picture of me, probably with throwing darts puncturing my smiling face and maybe even devil horns doodle on my head, with the words… Read More ›
guide to owning a car in vermont (from a non-car owner)
by d.orikin This winter, UVM students are struggling with their trip to classes due to the extreme cold temperatures and the consistent level of snow that proceeds to renew itself every few days. For the lucky ones that are car… Read More ›
how to make 8 easy dollars
By henryschmidel The editorial staff of the Vermont Cynic allegedly claimed they were “unable to find $8 in the budget” in order to cover the Asian Student Union’s Lunar New Year event this past weekend. The Water Tower asks: why… Read More ›
curb-phoria: the lost scene
by savinobarile The following excerpt is from a failed crossover episode between two of HBO’s most beloved intellectual properties. It was scrapped for unknown reasons.
drake’s red hot cum
by lucypowell Maybe I was zoned out or missed class one day, but I don’t remember learning how hot sauce can be used as a contraceptive in health class. I didn’t even know this was a thing until I read… Read More ›
playlist for developing a god complex
by emmaburns Recently I discovered that if you sit down and decide to develop a god complex for yourself, even if it’s a mostly ironic decision, it is very possible that you will in fact end up with one. In… Read More ›
bitcoin farm heats home
by benduhamel Ah the wondrous world of 2022. Another year of a bunch of capitalist schmucks continuing to turn their wealth into more wealth. This time, the wealth is even more entirely made up. Cryptocurrency and NFTS are seemingly unavoidable,… Read More ›
m&m is still fuckable
By eminem It’s old news that Tucker Carlson is an idiot. From racism to misogyny, homophobia to the dismissal of pedophilia, Carlson spouts factless word vomit into the void via the Fox News program. However, recently, he has made a… Read More ›