by kelseydeemer & grantwoods KELSEY: I miss the early teens, Grant. Back when Ugg boots sprung from yoga pants! More than anything, I miss “Downtown” by Macklemore. That has to be my favorite song, ever, maybe. GRANT: Are you kidding… Read More ›
grant woods
worst boats of all time
by grantwoods The Titanic- They sure said it was too big to fail. And weren’t they wrong. Isn’t it great when they are wrong? The Titanic was lauded as the premier ship to make it to the Americas. A guaranteed… Read More ›
my strange addiction: alcohol
by grantwoods We arrived at the house of the man I’d yet to meet at a quarter to two, many hours before happy hour, in Columbus, Ohio. It was the strangest addiction I had yet to meet, an alcohol addict…. Read More ›
death interrupts wine night with the moms
by grantwoods Four local women have narrowly avoided death in what is a bizarre and developing story. What antagonist, it might be asked, aroused this macabre scene? None other than death himself. The grim specter of death, to be exact,… Read More ›
fauxliage: vermont’s great lie
by grantwoods You have been duped. You’ve been sold a bill of goods in relation to the whole “foliage” thing. You came to Vermont, to the University of Vermont, expecting the state’s crown jewel. The magnum opus of Vermont seasons… Read More ›
how to maximize steps on a night out
by grantwoods There’s an ancient idiom that says that it is not one’s destination, but one’s journey. Every night out is, conservatively, three quarters composed of what occurs outside of the sweaty, seedy basement. The basement is the only part… Read More ›
anything to own the libs
by grantwoods “Yes, just about anything to own the libs,” explained protestor Troy P., 34, of Bloomington, Minnesota. It was in Bloomington, home of America’s largest mall, that Troy and several other white men performed a strange stunt, allegedly in… Read More ›
college sex life sure is raucous
by grantwoods “Sexy panties!” “Well, these are my period-slash-sleep panties, but thank you, dear.” I watch her brush her teeth from the bed we are sharing in Colorado, doing the New York Times daily mini and picking my nose. “I… Read More ›
stuck in the middle with you
by grantwoods To understand skiing, ski a blue square (intermediate), then try a black diamond (hard) and a green circle (easy). The blue square will give you the best idea. Truth lies somewhere in the middle, and also on one… Read More ›
i wanna dad-rock all night long
by grantwoods The phrase “dad-rock” was first conceived by columnist Rob Mitchum in his Pitchfork review of the 2007 Wilco album “Sky Blue Sky.” The album had, he thought, completely failed to be daring or experimental, an easygoing complacency that… Read More ›