by lizzygrant – ★★ / ★★★★★ Oh, Jiffy Lube, you are a bunch of rip-off artists! Negative stars if I can! I wanted to be a good car-taker and went for a quick checkup on my oil and fill… Read More ›
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exclusive: ai tells all
by chatgpt and politicalfish ChatGPT Roasts Humanity: A Satirical Interview with the AI Overlord By: ChatGPT & PoliticalFish The following prompt was given to ChatGPT. ChatGPT legitimately wrote this article: *Write a funny interview with yourself for a satirical student… Read More ›
skaterboys are ruining my life
by lizzygrant Skateboard: Hello, thanks for coming in today! Me: Thanks for having me, Skate! Skateboard: Of course, so… let’s get down to business: dating. Me: Yikes, I think we all have some stories to tell Skateboard: Why yes, we… Read More ›
rallycat’s biggest secret
by politicalfish Is this betrayal? Have I been made the fool? Unfortunately dear readers, I cannot say for sure, because I fear that it is all of us who have been hoodwinked, bamboozled, and caught in the lies of our… Read More ›
idk some phone numbers
by wtstaff The phone call is a lost art in the 21st century. We are dumb kids and while we are texting, we never do what our mother says and, “just call them, make yourself known.” Here at The Water… Read More ›
interview w/ the person who has committed all pranks against you
by kelseydeemer As a hostess with the mostess in training I have thrown a few college house parties in my day. And we all know, when you throw a college house party, you will be college house party pranked. In… Read More ›
interview: how’s your semester been?
by anonymoussloth Are you starting to feel the back end of the semester hitting back? Cause I certainly am. Coming off the back end of the pandemic, getting to see the bottom half of people’s faces, having to walk by… Read More ›
mindfulness for idiots (and children)
by mattmcgotty There is no state of mind as paradoxical as that of a college student. This glimpse of adulthood merely acts as a taste of what is to come. For some, this is a substance-filled bender with pesky… Read More ›
head on with the head of state
by savinobarile Savino Barile: Mr. President, it’s an honor. Joe Biden: The pleasure is all mine. Young people are the future of this nation, it’s important they can feel like they can come to their President if they need to…. Read More ›
mandela effects: 2022 edition!
by addisonschwarz & lilyjensen The other day here in Christie 114, Lily and I were having a fruitful conversation about our favorite mandela effects and how there aren’t any new, good ones out there. We looked through every Buzzfeed list… Read More ›