by william howard taft’s fat fucking ghost Imagine a country just founded. It’s rules and laws or it’s constitution establishes how the government shall work in those lands. Specifically the government shall consist of a president, appointed to office by… Read More ›
october 6, 2020
NO FINGERING in central dining hall
by a concerned catamount Discontent has been rampant on Central Campus after an anonymous faculty member erected a sign in the Central Campus Dining Hall stating, “After you finish eating please NO FINGERING; to make room for your friends to… Read More ›
Your PANTS pants
by michaelhaydon People will often tell you, whether or not you care to listen, about how taking mushrooms “changed their life.” Especially here, at The University of Vermont of all places. I plan to do the same. Picture… Read More ›
patrick’s silent vigil
by maxheath I’ve been on UVM’s campus for one year now, and in that time, I’ve seen some shit. I have watched the religion of Jeff Goldblum rise and fall. I have seen the Jehovah’s Witnesses set up shop in… Read More ›
what can we do to improve the catbus?
by kelseydeemer A great man once said “I wanna fuck the CatBus.” The same great man also once said “the CatBus should have Cat Ears.” This has followed me ever since. It just makes sense! CatBus, Cat Ears, looks cute,… Read More ›
perforated shoes
by mikehock Sun falls low on the horizon down, as autumn falls on this simple town I turn my head away from the chilling sky, just to meet a man, just another guy Upper body clad with the typical frat… Read More ›
i crave rat
by moiramahoney I want a rat. I’ve wanted a rat for weeks. That’s my deep dark confession. And when your loneliness and depression manifest in wanting a small rodent to hold, you begin to shamefully stalk rat-focused accounts on Tiktok…. Read More ›
faces
by grantwoods I’ve had my face for more than nineteen years. My face has been in contact with oxygen for nineteen years and two months (nineteen years and eleven months if contact with my mother’s innards is included). Obviously, it’s… Read More ›
rollertoasters crisping my quarantined mind
by kelseydeemer The coronavirus age we live in is many things, but I’ll tell you what it’s not. A rush. Between the days of March and May not a single bloodpounding event occurred. I played a lot of cards with… Read More ›
the kardashians don’t suck!!!
by haileyivey The Kardashians offer us classic American television, we cannot deny that. This show has been going on since 2007, and there have always been fine enough ratings. And this family has become ridiculously famous. Yet, most people you… Read More ›