Author Archives
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eat the brown part of this banana >:)
by bemmy
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uvm cuts housing budget to finance mini golf team
by sheabutter BURLINGTON, VT — On Sunday, the UVM Board of Trustees announced they have diverted the $100 million that was originally intended for the new “Catamount Woods” undergraduate housing towards establishing a competitive mini golf team and stadium… Read More ›
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the devil wears stupid little glasses
by politicalfish WT: Hi Speaker of the House Michael Johnson, thank you for sitting down with me today. Mike Johnson: Die liberal scum. WT: Wow, terrible energy! Let’s get started. You were elected on October 25th after four… Read More ›
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i fucking hate drake
by Drizzy.D.Ryder With the release of his groundbreaking new record, For All the Dogs, the one and only Aubrey Graham, AKA “Drake,” “the GOAT,” “Drizzy,” “D-Sauce,” or “Champagne Papi,” officially leveled with Michael Jackson for the male artist with the… Read More ›
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young man yells at television
by theriddler Football. The sport of American champions. From the massive popularity of Taylor Swift’s new boy-toy to the massive amount of times Tom Brady kisses his son on the mouth, What’s not to love? The truly most american… Read More ›
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you guys start partying way too early
by catquest I’ll be the first to admit it. I am a dilly-dallyer, I am not a particularly fast person. I love to let it linger! I love this about myself, I think it is central to my experience… Read More ›
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c.u.n.t
by mattmcgotty “She got her masters in cuntology with a concentration in motherlogical studies from the university of servington.” As I stare at the Beyonce photo, entranced, I can’t help but be distracted by the outrageous caption looming over her… Read More ›
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online exclusive uncensored version of my father’s penis (drivers license cover)
by lildingus I sucked my Father’s penis last week, Just like I fantasized about, Cuz I was so excited to see, How much of his sick could fit in my mouth, And today I shaved my hairy asshole, Excited cuz… Read More ›
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honor the pregame
by mattmcgotty In a recent study conducted by the University of Vermont, researchers concluded that weekly partying was directly linked to self-fulfillment. This study, fully funded by the gradually dying cult Greek Life Ltd., was allegedly carried out in an… Read More ›
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a living/learning history
by jonlemon I love Living and Learning. Never have I ever seen such spectacular feats of non-Euclidean geometry and esoteric mysticism. And don’t get me started on the vertigo-inducing low ceilings or grimy linoleum. Holy shit. I mean, on… Read More ›