Author Archives
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swords… and lords
by theriddeller Alass! The green hills of the stoic University of Vermont campus are graced by a cavalcade of new and intrepid adventurers who seek to test wicked steel in the Historical Fencing Club. I too was once tantalized by… Read More ›
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editor’s picks playlist
by wtstaff scan me!
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online exclusive: a message from suresh
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live laugh love leeches
by saraj Tallahassee, FL— In an unexpected turn of events, Governor Rob DeSantis has unveiled his latest groundbreaking healthcare initiative: urging Walgreens to stock leeches. Yes, leeches—because nothing says “cutting-edge healthcare in America” quite like the creatures that peaked in… Read More ›
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the feels on the cat bus go round and round
by izzybee blonde girl sits next to me and breaks up with her boy- friend by text. poor Dave. someone smells like weed and patchouli. must’ve been a fun night for them. 3. how many crystals is too… Read More ›
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zoe 180
by XjerseymamasX Faithful readers of the Water Tower may remember my brave coming out as a hey mamas lesbian on page 8 last spring. This coming out was marked with character development such as an eyebrow slit, overworn polo shirt,… Read More ›
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olivia rodrigo killed some guy
by bemmy Los Angeles, CA- Olivia Rodrigo: America’s current teenage sweetheart. An artist who used her teenage years to make sure we knew ours were hell, Rodrigo is back with a new album: GUTS. Referred to by nostalgia-tainted millennials as… Read More ›
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the great uheights plague
by aj There is an epidemic plaguing the halls of University Heights. One capable, perhaps, of causing suffering even worse than that of trying to hold a conversation with one of the complex’s HCOL freshman inhabitants. Now, we here… Read More ›
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a bee sat on my eyelash for a good 5 seconds
by juliette “Buzz,” said the bee that wanted to kiss my eyes On the second bus, down to Essex skies Amidst the seats, after the sunrise Though your presence was annoying, Our encounter was a surprise The tone of… Read More ›
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rip other jimmy
