news in brief

Daylight Savings Time: Time to Boycott
Americans are angry and, like, so, so sad after the seasonal loss of daylight, resulting in a nationwide boycott of the time change. “We’re supposedly ‘saving daylight,’ but there are so many more normal people than there are farmers,” a leader of the protest claims.

Nessie’s 90’th Bash
Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster, celebrated 90 years since the first photograph of the monster with an enormous Scottish-themed party. The day a monster is discovered is equivalent to a birthday in monster terms. Every monster was there. Champ, our very own lake monster, arrived at the party in traditional Vermont flannel, along with a kilt in accordance with the theme.

The Weather is So Normal
The weather has been all over the place in the previous weeks. The temperature as of writing is 48 and su… oh wait, now it is 32 and windy.
Students went on the record saying it’s been “annoying,” “too sweaty for how cold it is,” and “no good for anyone’s spirits.” It’s now 50 and rainy.

Who Needs a Pond
The small but vibrant brush patch/pond (?) located behind the amphitheater has been removed. Instead of finally finishing the unnecessary storage for bikes in front of Harris-Millis asking for broken windows, UVM has done this!

Strikes for the Win
The United Auto Workers strike is set soon to end after reaching a tentative agreement, AND SAG-AFTRA called an official end to strike activities once they received their new contract. For real, these are both big wins for collective action. Go Unions!

Categories: news in brief, nov 14, Vol 27