by mattmcgotty
In a recent study conducted by the University of Vermont, researchers concluded that weekly partying was directly linked to self-fulfillment. This study, fully funded by the gradually dying cult Greek Life Ltd., was allegedly carried out in an effort to not only increase alcohol sales in Vermont, but also to the deaths of adolescents. Looks like UVM needed to find any solution for the housing crisis. But unfortunately, the highly flawed research was relegated exclusively to members of the cult organization and therefore lacks true weight when compared to the weed addicted student body in Vermont. But considering the constant bar lines and the mass acquisition of pedialyte, the argument of Greek Life must hold some weight, right? Despite all the complaining following a mediocre night in Burlington’s downtown area, there’s no way people are actually miserable doing something they participate in every week.
Apparently yes, they are. To some, the weekend is a sacred institution. This explosion of dopamine is the culmination which the entire week is leading up to. On the other hand, as another weekend of insurmountable expectations passes by, some find more joy in complaining about the belligerent man they cussed out than the belligerent bar they were occupying.
Perhaps our American work life is to blame. Such regimented schedules truly give people little to no freedom to balance their responsibilities in an adequate way. Looking again at the decisive Greek Life study of 2023, factoring out the Friday work, the recovery from the Saturday hangover, and the Sunday errands and scaries, the average 20-something is left with about 32 minutes to freely choose what they want to do, give or take. Time is ticking before your very eyes, a full-time profession and baldness await, and the only good music you heard that night was from your friends pregame. And that’s when it hits you: SEIZE THE PREGAME!
Unfortunately for most people, the pregame is often the most overlooked aspect of the night. A generation of opportunists, we only learn the address of a house party to see its proximity to the next one. The same principle goes for the pregame. While some are anticipating the escape of the novelty of a stranger’s house or bar, we often forget the simple joys of just being with our friends. Even if there was space to speak over the oppressive volume of 2000’s throwbacks, no company of a friend of a friend of a friend who you met from a shared link and exclusively see outside in your mutual drunken euphoria will compare to one shared between your best friends. No to mention being able to control your own music! There is a clear underestimation of dancing freely to whatever song you want with people that truly share your music taste. Personally, I even have a self-pregame (a pre-pre-game if you will) for those songs that even my friends won’t listen to. If there’s no bar to play your Mariah Carey extended club mixes, make your own.
Essentially, this is the objective. With your own music and alcohol at a tenth of the price of your typical bar, you are entitled to making your first stop of the weekend something to be remembered. Especially those who end up hitting six or seven different places in one night like a trick-or-treater with a sugar problem. Above all, living in Burlington, Vermont is accepting that going out will never guarantee you a satisfying night. But realistically, even the most extroverted, popper-craving person from NYC with all the connections you could ask for can easily find dissatisfaction in any function they arrive in. Make the most of your night, and for me, make sure to bring all your good chisme to the pregame.
Categories: cooler, matt mcgotty, nov 14, Vol 27