what your halloween costume says about your sex life

by cumslut

Choosing what you are going to be for halloween is a big deal: you are giving yourself a totally different persona. But this so-called different persona or character that you pick says a lot about you. Especially about your sex life- that’s right, what you dress up as tells me how freaky you are in bed. Now I will be covering mostly solo costumes but I’ll also address what some couple or group costumes say about the people that choose it. 

Starting with an iconic halloween costume that every slutty bitch does: vampire. I split this category into two groups, one being the Dracula vibe and the other being Twilight. Dracula vampire aesthetic love leaving hickies everywhere, preferably on the neck of course. If you’re dressing up as Bella Swan you probably love threesomes, with a preference of two men. Now thinking about Jacob the werewolf from Twilight, if you dress up as a werewolf you are a furry. No ifs, ands or buts. You are a furry.

Now if you’re dressing up as a cat, that’s different. Being a cat is a great costume for those who are on a budget and want to slut things up. If you dress up as a cat, you’re a whore. I mean whore in a loving term here, all I’m saying is your body count is higher than most. 

If your significant other is dressing up as a pirate this year, good luck because pirates are freaks in bed. With their hooks and eye patches but especially their peg legs, that is why they’re known for being fans of pegging, so get that lube ready.

Speaking of toys, there’s nothing a fairy likes more than her wand. Her wand is the most used item in her room and gets her to release her magic like no other. 

What do mummies, cowgirls, cowboys and cops all have in common? They all love being restrained or restraining people. With cops it’s obvious with their love of handcuffs and cowgirls/cowboys love for rope. I think mummies are more hardcore bondage. 

A costume you don’t want to be is a disney princess cuz everyone’s gonna know you’re a pillow princess. If you do decide to be a disney princess here’s what the classics say about your sex life: Cinderella obviously has a foot fetish. While Belle likes it rough and Rapunzel likes her hair pulled. If your dressing up as Ariel or a mermaid is general you definitely enjoy some shower sex and sex on the beach (not the drink).   

I feel like at some point in life every girlie is a witch. Now with the costume of the witch it can go either way. You either are a dominatrix or boring in bed. There’s no inbetween.  

Speaking of witches, we gotta talk about the witches and wizards of Harry Potter. If you’re dressing up as a Hogwarts student or teacher, you dream of school roleplay. You also like the thrill of maybe being caught. 

A common genre of costumes is superheroes and villains, which have very different approaches to fun in the bedroom. Superheroes love to be told they’re doing a good job, so compliment their dick or tell them you love when they go down on you. Villains are the opposite, they like when you degrade them…

If you and your partner dress up as Harley Quinn and the joker, y’all are super duper freaky and not afraid to play some games in the bedroom.

To wrap this article up, I hope all you scary sluts had an amazing Halloween weekend. I hope you made out with a random person in a dingy basement or consented to some wild foreplay. Maybe you embraced your different persona and played some tricks on people or gave them treats they’ll be dreaming about for nights to cum. 

Categories: cooler, cumslut, oct 31, Vol 27