by cumslut
Hey sluts! It’s me cumslut!! I am now an upperclassman which totally makes me qualified to give advice to the freshies. This piece I will be going over everything you should definitely try at your first year at UVM and things to avoid at all costs. But because it’s me we gotta talk about sex, whoring around and butt stuff duh. So this is whore edition.
Getting started with the most crucial piece of advice, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT wear your convocation shirt around campus. You will get no bitches, I guarantee it. Getting bitches isn’t too hard though, with tinder, bumble or hinge. These apps are great to get a wide selection of people on campus. You sample some Trinity campus dick and Redstone campus pussy all in one night!! If you want to stick closer to your dorm, hookup with your next door neighbor. Beware though that you will see when you first wake up in the morning and are heading to the communal bathrooms. Speaking of bathrooms I recommend having sex in the shower in the gender neutral/single stall bathroom. There are two in Millis that are on the fourth floor that are regularly used for that.
When sampling what the student body at UVM has to offer, give all the classic stereotypes a try. Maybe you’ll find that artsy girls have the tightest ass. Or maybe you’ll find that frat bros are great at eating pussy (this is a confirmed falsehood). A known fact is that the Watertower news writers give the best head.
Speaking of the Watertower we run the best event on campus: the naked bike ride! I highly recommend doing it! At the end of every semester on the last day of class the UVM student body lets loose and shows some skin! You can do as many laps around the athletic campus circle showing as much skin as you want! Public nudity in college is good for the soul.
by zoe wilson
Having private time in a forced triple or just a regular double is hard. So sometimes you have to get a little creative on where the pleasure is taking place. Try going outside while it’s still warm, whether it’s missionary in a hammock or doggy style on Virtue Field. I’ve suggested dorm single bathrooms already but I also think there aren’t enough people using single stall bathrooms in learning buildings. A quickie between classes is a good way to relieve stress and such a fun dirty secret that only you and the person know about or you and your vibrator. Consenting sexile is okay but do not kick your roommate out without warning, it’s rude and you never know what your roommate will do when you’re asleep. Also do not have sex while your roommate is sleeping (speaking from personal experience waking up after blacking out to your roommate having an orgasm on a random man’s dick is not a fun way to start your day). It’s different if you want to watch or engage in said activity just have a convo about it.
Another important convo to have is all about safe sex! As you know the Davis center gives out free condoms and lube which is great! The lube they give out is not so great because as of freshman year I had an allergic reaction to it. Always check ingredients my fellow whores!! I talked a lot about some fun sexual stuff to get involved in here at UVM, but please make sure it is safe and everyone is consenting!!
Categories: around town, cumslut, sept. 19, Vol 27, zoe wilson