studio ganja

by mattswaim

“Art is in the high of the beholder.” – Sun Tsu, probably

Nothing quite embodies this idea like legendary film director Hayao Miyazaki’s works with Studio Ghibli. Known for works like Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, and most recently The Boy and the Heron, he’s made his mark on animation history as not only a genius in the studio, but also a fantastic excuse to get high on a Monday night. His visual style is filled with so much color and motion that it already resembles a drug trip. Therefore, I thought it would be appropriate to look back on his works as I’m guessing they were meant to be enjoyed- stoned as fuck- in honor of his retirement announcement and subsequent “lol jk!!!”. That lying bastard.

Spirited Away is probably a good movie. I wouldn’t know though, as I had taken an edible about half an hour before and was not paying attention to the plot at all. Instead, I was captured by the masterful art and setting as well as the gorgeous soundtrack that I still enjoy sober. When I saw this movie a few months back, I had never seen a Ghibli movie in my life so what I was seeing inspired an audible “Holy shit.” I cried watching this movie. I actually cried watching Spirited Away and just to put into perspective how batshit insane that is, I haven’t cried since I watched Baymax die in Big Hero 6 all the way back in 2014. Spirited Away is also about like, environmentalism and some other thematic bullshit and I will light up to that. Anyway, on the off chance a UVM student is ever high I would emphatically recommend this movie. ✰✰✰✰

My Neighbor Totoro is great. This is probably the only movie out of the three I’d rewatch sober, and yes, I almost cried. It’s more down to earth in terms of visuals and setting, so I’d still recommend Spirited Away if you’re looking for a total life-changing experience that makes you feel FUCKING INCREDIBLE. What I can say though, is that this movie has lots of funny moments that will make your stoned ass laugh out loud and, yet, the next morning you won’t remember any of them. Man, weed is the fucking best. ✰✰✰✰

by eden ambrovich

Ponyo is a bad movie that would only be enjoyable with something much stronger and much more illegal than weed. It’s about a kid falling in love with a goldfish who eventually turns into a human, which brings up all sorts of ethical and biological questions that I don’t really want to think about and yet was forced to. Ungodly fish-human sex aside, this movie doesn’t do much to make itself better than the other two movies I watched baked. It looks and sounds fine, but Spirited Away is better in both areas. It was somehow made even worse when I found out Tina Fey voices the mom and yet there is not a single goddamn joke in this movie. Can you imagine how funny it would have been if there was a line like “Egads! Don’t let those Mean Girls bully you Sosuke! Go to the beach with the cool rocks and find 30 Rocks!” and then a studio audience just starts applauding for like 15 minutes? It would have made the movie much worse but I would have laughed my stoned ass off the whole time. Watch Spirited Away instead.✰✰

Miyazaki’s storied legacy speaks for itself. The old fart’s got at least one more movie in him, so in my professional and unbiased opinion, he should just give it the best visuals and soundtrack possible and just no plot or cohesion and I will love it. He may be cooking in the studio right now but I just know whatever he makes will probably be the most mid shit imaginable that can only be enjoyed with a blunt in one hand and a lighter in the other.

Categories: eden ambrovich, sept. 19, views, Vol 27

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