snacks to try when you’re zooted

by titty.tino

Hey kids!  The other night I got higher than the Empire State, in the words of the late great band Fun. feat. Janelle Monáe, and decided to do a full review and critique of the various snacks I chowed down.  For your convenience, I wrote it all down so that you can take my suggestions the next time you dance with the devil (‘s lettuce)!  Hence, unedited, I give you: “Things Eye Ate and Why.” 

  1. Chocolate Chips: idk why, but I thought the juxtaposition between crunch and melt was just divine.  I only ate 4 tho.  2/5 stars
  2. Frozen tater tots: FROZEN. Straight from the bag.  They kinda were like ice cream but frozen.   I can’t explain why they were so scrumptious but the flavor was unbeatable.  New favorite snack. 10/10 
  3. Dino Nuggets: they say nugs not drugs, but I say NUGS AND DRUGS.  Taste was lovely, nostalgic, simple.  But why was the meat stretchy? Kinda freaky. Plus I didn’t have bbq sauce.  2.5/10 I mean 2.5/5 
  4. Shredded cheese: my ALL TIME favorite high snack.  The texture is out of this world so comforting and stringy in my mouth.  Absolutely recommend.  So refreshing.  My cat loves it too.  70000/10 
  5. Maraschino cherries: loved poppin them lil thangs in my mouth. Yas/10

Categories: April Fools 2023, vol 26

%d bloggers like this: