by titty.tino
Hey kids! The other night I got higher than the Empire State, in the words of the late great band Fun. feat. Janelle Monáe, and decided to do a full review and critique of the various snacks I chowed down. For your convenience, I wrote it all down so that you can take my suggestions the next time you dance with the devil (‘s lettuce)! Hence, unedited, I give you: “Things Eye Ate and Why.”
- Chocolate Chips: idk why, but I thought the juxtaposition between crunch and melt was just divine. I only ate 4 tho. 2/5 stars
- Frozen tater tots: FROZEN. Straight from the bag. They kinda were like ice cream but frozen. I can’t explain why they were so scrumptious but the flavor was unbeatable. New favorite snack. 10/10
- Dino Nuggets: they say nugs not drugs, but I say NUGS AND DRUGS. Taste was lovely, nostalgic, simple. But why was the meat stretchy? Kinda freaky. Plus I didn’t have bbq sauce. 2.5/10 I mean 2.5/5
- Shredded cheese: my ALL TIME favorite high snack. The texture is out of this world so comforting and stringy in my mouth. Absolutely recommend. So refreshing. My cat loves it too. 70000/10
- Maraschino cherries: loved poppin them lil thangs in my mouth. Yas/10
Categories: April Fools 2023, vol 26