pool players paradise, perceived from the sidelines

by heinuswanus

Ah the Davis Center. Truly a wonder for all uvm students. From overpriced foods, long sandwich lines, the occasional visit from RallyCat, and apparently the longest continuous staircase in Vermont, the Davis center really does have it all. Deep in this magnificent building however lies a true wonder. Located on the first floor just tucked away behind cat pause holds a lounge area for students and faculty alike. Included in this comforting spot is none other than about five pool tables. And let me just say the cast of characters that come to play at these tables is nothing short of wonderful. May I present: the types of people you may see playing pool at the Davis Center.

1. Two guys who “totally know how to play” and are confused beca use they “never miss.” We all know these guys and unfortunately we’ve all seen them play. They will talk back and forth about some nonsense but then get all serious just to watch their ball tragically miss the pocket. You might get some second hand embarrassment, but don’t worry that feeling will subside. All men need an ego check.

david orkin

2. The “just friends” casually playing together while forcing everyone around them to watch their incessant flirting. This one is painful. On the one hand, the situation is so cringey it can be kind of funny. On the other hand, if the flirting is really awful the cringiness could become unbearable so be warned about watching this couple of ‘friends’ for too long. 

3. Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick. This Davis center guest may come as a surprise for only a few students have seen him around. He is not a very frequent visitor as the travel from Bikini Bottom can be quite tiring. When he does partake in a game or two though students are often wowed by his unique talent to get the ball in almost every time. If you’re lucky to chat with him, be sure to use his whole name. He’ll get real fucking mad if you don’t.

4. The ‘single riders.’ These people come with only one mission on their mind: playing pool. They are there to blow off some steam and practice their skills. In my humble opinion these people may just be some of our greatest players on campus. They know what ball to hit, the angles, the right amount of chalk to get on the stick thing, everything. I admire these people. They seem content and I always cheer them on in my head in hopes they feel my positive energy. (gotta radiate those good vibes lky’all!)

5. The overly loud players. My question to this group of people is why are you yelling about a game of pool at TEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING. I haven’t even processed the two classes I just had let alone want to raise my voice at someone, especially over a game of pool. These people always seem to be forgetting that they are in public and not at the international pool championships. Love the enthusiasm, just keep it at a lower volume. 

6. The late night crew. Inebriated or not, these players have more of a chill vibe and come to just dick around and enjoy some pool playing. I don’t necessarily have a problem with this group, in fact I enjoy watching them play during my late night Davis center excursions. Just a calm and quiet group of people all trying to be good at a game none of them are good at.

With each new day at the Davis center comes new people at the pool tables. Whether it’s new players ready to try their luck or returning players hoping to hone in on their skills, everyone can feel like a pool champion at the Davis center. Which is a good thing because I’ve only seen about two people who were actually good at pool. I think we all could use a good lesson on how to play. #sorrynotsorry

Categories: around town, d.orkin, heinus wanus, nov 16

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