ode to my shitty printer: a poem

by angelinacarando

Oh printer, my love

If only you knew

How much I so truly,

So deeply loathe you

I remember the day

I stepped foot in that Best Buy

Who knew that my purchase

Would soon be my worst buy

Because here I am hopeless,

Practically begging on my knees

Just for you to print

one tiny lab report please

You sputter and groan

Constantly huffing and puffing

All for you to print out

absolutely nothing

Despite all of my pleading

You still sit there confused

You have one fucking job

that you can’t even do

I hate you, dear printer

You dumb hunk of junk

I’m throwing you in the lake

just to hear you go ker-plunk

Now as I watch you sink slowly

To your new watery home

I have one thought in my mind

One thought alone

Technology is a scam

I should’ve known, I should’ve listened

I’m joining the Amish

Because society is a prison

the water tower.