by bemmy
As a dumb bitch in STEM, I often find myself balls-deep in textbooks and concepts I can only hope to comprehend by my next exam. And, as an egotistical maniac, I did NOT learn how to study in high school. This left me in a funny little situation; figuring out the most optimal way to study without putting in any actual work to learn. Lucky for me, my advisor did me absolutely dirty this semester and I have to wake up and trek to an 8:30 every single day! But also lucky for me, I had the perfect opportunity to make friends among the dreary faces I began to observe at Northside Dining every morning.
Insert Jordan: a lovely double film and psychology major who shared my affinity for the worst genre of music, hyperpop. We struck up a few conversations here and there related to my various fraxiom and 100 gecs shirts, eventually leading to one fateful exchange.
“Hey, have you ever heard of Dariacore?” she inquired. I shook my head.
“Oh dude, you have to check it out. It’s like, 7 samples mixed together with the worst noises you’ve ever heard. It’s so bad, but it’s so good.”
My interest was piqued. As I sat down for my standard Friday do-all-my-homework-so-
that-I-can-have-a-normal-weekend study sesh, I turned on Dariacore 3. And for the first time, I could think. I breezed through my chemistry post lab, absolutely obliterating my weekly bio quiz, and even advancing through the next chapter of stats homework. I felt unstoppable. My mind was so empty, and yet so full at the same time. It’s not full of real thoughts though, just a fucking crazy EDM mashup of a Bruno Mars song accompanied by earsplitting nothingness. I can’t discern a single sound other than the 10 words spoken by the artist in the sample, yet those 10 words keep me so incredibly focused on any task I put in front of myself. The perfect auditory environment, in my humble environment, for getting work done.
I’ve been unstoppable for over a month now. I’ve even started levitating as I work. I know, I can’t believe it either. Every textbook chapter takes me 5 minutes TOPS to read, and I’ve begun writing in perfect script. I’ve already accrued over 250 peer notetaking hours and next Thursday President Suresh is going to gift me the university’s highest academic achiever award. I think I’m on track to finish my Ph.D. by the end of February? Idk, ask my first-year advisor.
All jokes and jests aside, these tunes get the rodent in my head spinning the wheel at hyper speed. I’ve never been more productive in my entire life. I actually churned out a whole lab report in 3 hours thanks to the powers of dariacore last Friday. My life has genuinely become better since I started listening to shitpost music.
I think my favorite part about dariacore is the fact that it’s produced by a genuinely talented person. c0ncernn is the alias artist Jane Remover uses to hide her shame (?) for creating such unorthodox pieces of art. Jane Remover, for all unseasoned hyperpop listeners, is known for releasing chaoscore bangers, and the dariacore collection is no exception. You can hear the precision they invest in the synths and the care each remix required to sound genuinely good, no matter how bone-rattling the final product is. I can’t tell if I’m mad or impressed the more I listen to snatch the cat back, formerly my least favorite song now converted to my most acclaimed. So far, there are three dariacore albums on the market. My favorite? Dariacore 2: Enter Here, Hell to the Left for sure. It mixes the almost calm nature of Dariacore with the almost TOO chaotic nature of Dariacore 3… At least that’s what I think it’s called? to bring a messy, unpredictable balance to an otherwise stressful study sesh. Do I think miss Remover is going to release another edition of her beloved project car of a music series? Probably not. But if they do, you know damn well I’ll be listening.