As the season of slutty pumpkins and historical figures rolls around, i too have been considering what i will wear to terrorize the families of burlington this year! In order to spark my inspiration, i took a trip down memory lane in search of my best halloween costumes of the past. I hope to give you shivers down your spin or advise you down a different path with your costuming choices this year!
By far my most horrifying costume choice was back in middle school, in maybe 7th grade, i chose to dress up as a rag doll. At this time i had an unhealthy obsession with the music artist melanie martinez, specifically her song “dollhouse.” this song is a creepy metaphor for how people can look like a perfect doll on the outside but be a rotten apple on the inside; my depressive emo ass ate this up when i was 12. This song was the inspiration behind my costume, which was a gigantic, fluffy, icey blue, floor length, vintage dress (woah so many adjectives, i’m not sure that’s grammatically correct). I paired this dress with a pair of small black heels that every person had during their 2016 tumblr- tween era and two long pigtails. I thought i was hot. But i was in fact not, because as i went out trick-or-treating with my sister, who was dressed as anna from frozen, and her friend jillian, who was dressed as olaf, i was mistaken as elsa the entire night. But instead of accepting that i looked like elsa, i explained to everyone that i was a ragdoll. This would elicit a confused response from candy givers and an eye roll from my sister. Looking back, that was so embarrassing and i realize the only person who was scared of my costume was myself. Truely a night from hell.
The worst part of this whole situation is that i don’t have any excuses for wearing costume like this. I come from a long line of halloween costume experts; my older sister somehow manages to wear 13 different costumes during the three nights of halloweekend. But my mother has managed to beat out all of the college students by having the sexiest costumes possible. My favorite costumes of hers have been a sexy top gun character and a slutty racecar driver. I’m ashamed that i couldn’t have thought of anything more creative than a ragdoll that year.
Throughout my many halloween costumes it’s difficult to choose which has been my all time favorite. But after much consideration, i would have to choose my freshman year cheerios costume! For those who are uneducated, the cheerios are the head cheerleaders in the hit television show glee. From the outside, these cheery red cheerleader costumes don’t look terrifying but the attitude they gave me would make anyone scared. The entire night i terrorized my friends by enbodying the horrifying auror of quinn, santana, and brittany. I stalked the halls of my dorm with a tight high ponytail and my two best friends at my side. People shuttered as they passed us and couldn’t even look us in the eyes the next day. The only thing this costume lacked was sue selvester herself. Thanks to my questionable fashion choices in high school, i do own a maroon adidas tracksuit, so i’ve considered amping up the fear factor of this costume being Sue one year.