here’s how the gravy gets made

by emmaburns

This past week or so brought the exciting yet controversial arrival of Yung Gravy to the UVM Patrick Gym for Fallfest 2022. The YikYaks were mostly positive, the Instagram comments leaned towards vicious, and the student planners were a little stressed. The anticipation in the air was palpable. Ok maybe that’s an exaggeration, but boy did a lot of people have strong feelings.

Since I worked the event, I’d like to just fire off a recount of the night. First off, sorry to those who wanted tickets but couldn’t get them, that’s a bummer. Second, to those who bought tickets just to resell, that’s a dick move and I think you should reconsider your life choices from here on out. Third, sorry to Champlain students who caught some strays (although it was very funny). Even though there were some mixed sentiments among the UVM student body, the people I saw there seemed to be pretty psyched. Students were literally sprinting to be as close to the barricades as possible, tripping over the wires and tarp in the process. Since nobody was hurt from that I feel comfortable saying that it was extremely funny to watch, especially when it was like the first 50 people entering and there was absolutely no reason to run. Some struggled to find suitable storage for their coats, others wondered where they could find bathrooms, and one kid stopped to marvel at how “the gym is actually pretty fucking big” with me before continuing on his merry way.

The opening band McAuley Kart slayed and the pre-concert playlist went hard. (Also, I don’t know who was responsible for playing Porno by IDK but they’re my hero.)

After a bit, Yung Gravy’s DJ came out to do some crowd warm up which was fun except for the part when he kept changing songs right at the best part which made me want to break something. Finally, after an hour of intermittent demands for Gravy to take the stage– over half of which occurred when he wasn’t even on campus yet– Gravy himself finally appeared.

Now, maybe Yung Gravy isn’t like the artist of a generation or anything, but he was fun! And since I was safely on the side I just got to jump around and enjoy the pretty lights. I never made it to the center of the crowd but I heard it was way more violent over there which is a bit wild to me. Who goes to a Yung Gravy concert to lose their mind? Chill please.

Speaking of wild, some of the ways people chose to sneak in their illicit items were next level. Perhaps my favorite story of the night is the kid who threw his vodka handle away in the direction of security, then rushed the trash and the guards, grabbed the vodka, then booked it into the crowd never to be seen again. I don’t think I can officially endorse that sequence of events, but off the record I find it to be incredibly hilarious. Yung Gravy of course pulled out all the hits, and even some deeper cuts. My one big observation from the concert itself is that I got to see a large chunk of UVM’s student body that I don’t normally interact with. Seems like we’re pretty evenly split between the crunchy and the party, and I have to say I really enjoyed the overall party vibe. As a whole, UVM does everything with intensity and this night was no different.

Finally, the set came to an end and although I myself didn’t witness it, I’m told that Gravy removed his shirt before exiting which seemed like it excited some people. A couple kids were super insistent about being able to take home one of Gravy’s sweat towels, which you know, whatever gets you off.

After the set ended, me and my coworkers were urgently whisked off for a photo with Yung Gravy himself. That lasted about maybe a total of 5 minutes and then he was off into the night. Also, I’m not sure how common this knowledge is, but Yung Gravy is fucking 6’7! That man was giant, and I have to genuinely wonder how he functions in day to day life.

Once Gravy had left, it was time to starting cleaning up. The empty nip bottles had to be picked up, the cereal dust swept away, the literal CLUMPS of hair on the floor dealt with. Not to totally derail, but there was so much hair on the floor it was concerning. What happened? What could have possibly happened to cause that much hair loss? I’ve never seen anything like that at a concert before and I think we should all check in with the people who were there…

The take down of the concert took longer then the actual concert itself and without a doubt the worst aspect of it was taking down the barricades. They’re like a hundred pounds and were all oozing a mysterious brown liquid. Some even had a lovely coating of mushed banana and hair (again with the hair, seriously what the fuck). It wasn’t just the barricades that needed to be removed though, it was the entire stage, speaker set up, and lighting configuration. The process was intimidating to say the least and we were exhausted and sweaty about an hour in. I did manage to snag a far too large bracelet that proudly proclaimed “I Love MILFS” that was just lying around on stage.

carolyn d’auria

Once everything had been removed and placed in its proper storage, I was then informed that it was time to role all the several hundred pound cases out the doors, up a ramp, and into the three waiting trucks. At this point my eyes had lost the ability to focus and I reached the point where I felt massively high despite being completely sober.

Finally, at around one in the morning, I made it back to my home and closed the night with a brief stargazing session on my balcony while contemplating just how emotionally moving the movie Shaun the Sheep is (that’s a story in of itself) before eventually finding my way betweenn my warm, inviting bed and my trusty weighted blanket.

There’s a lot I could say in summation, but I think that Yung Gravy’s parting words to the student workers does it better then I ever could… “That was actually fucking lit guys.”

Categories: carolyn d'auria, emma burns, front page, oct 11

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