i thought foo fighters were the biggest band in the world… heres why i was wrong

by dorkin

I came to the drawing board with an edgy idea to figure out who would replace T Hawk of the Foo fighters after his tragic death. Turns out, no one here cares. I thought I had a superiority complex by thinking the Foo Fighters were mid, but I am actually inferior because when I brought up Foo Fighters to our team, no one cared. I exclaimed, “The Foo Fighters are the biggest band in the world!” and there was definitely a disconnect between what I thought I knew, and what I learned about the Foo Fighters’ place in UVM culture.

Here’s what I know. The Foo Fighters are a huge band. They headline festivals, get #1 albums, and have millions of die hard fans that will do whatever Dave Grohl says. Am I one of those people? No. But, I do know more Foo Fighters songs than I would care to admit. Sometimes I jam out to “Monkey Wrench”. In middle school I liked “Something from Nothing.” They have the classic rock sound down but with a modern twist, who wouldn’t fall for that? Dave Grohl is from Nirvana and I like Nirvana. When the guy in Nirvana died, what they didn’t do was a 6 hour show with Paul McCartney and Queen. But when the drummer from Foo Fighters died, they did that. Because they are huge.

Here’s what I learned. People at UVM love Nirvana of course, and maybe they love Foo Fighters too. But when I talk to my team of UVM culture aficionados, aka the water tower staff, suddenly, nobody gives a shit about Grohl’s second wind. What are they concerned with? 5 year olds who sing songs. The Donkey Kong underwater soundtrack, and Cbat. We have moved on from the Foo Fighters, and maybe that’s a good thing. If I had to be publicly ridiculed for one thing, I would have it be knowing Foo Fighters. They certainly fill arenas, but they won’t fill the aching hearts of UVM students.

Maybe T Hawk doesn’t need a replacement at this point. They did a 6 hour show, they can certainly call it quits. The Foo has been defeated. Or did the Foo win? The other biggest band in the world, The Beatles, did the smart thing and had a solid 8 years of quality, before calling it quits and then dying off. Hopefully Foo Fighters don’t start dying off until it’s only Dave Grohl as an 80 year old man playing rock n’ roll. Nobody wants that, not even our paper’s biggest Foo Fighters know it all. Foo Fighters is actually mid.

Categories: d.orkin, reflections, wt staff

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