ode to my dear toaster

By lucypowell 

Just a few days ago, I began the grieving process. I lost someone that I was very close with; someone I saw everyday without fail. They supported me and were fueled by spirits day after day. I am talking about my toaster.

Toasty (they/them) was gifted to my dorm hall by our RA, Anna. They were truly the addition to the floor we didn’t realize we needed. Since the first day of my sophomore year, I would wake up and head to Simpson dining hall. I would then take three bagels and go back to my room. My two roommates and I would then huddle around Toasty as they crisped up our bagels for a fine dining experience!

lily jensen

They were reliable and dependable but many times were not treated with the respect they deserved. Just before second semester, someone pushed a little too hard on Toasty’s lever and it snapped off. I thought for sure this is it, Toasty is done for. But no! Toasty persevered and continued to toast our bagels despite the broken lever. Through thick and thin. Through bagels, english muffins, and poptarts, Toasty was there holding my hand through it all. 

Until that fateful morning. I got up really early one morning and made my way to steal an English muffin from Simpson Dining hall. When I arrived at my tiny kitchen on the third floor, I realized that Toasty’s lever was missing. Even though it broke off months ago, you could still use it to manually push down the hinge inside the toaster. I looked everywhere! Behind Toastry, under Toasty, to the left of Toasty, to the right of Toasty, but there was no luck! I assumed the lever got thrown away by accident so I continued like normal. I popped my english muffin in and started to fill my brita. After about a minute or two I noticed a horrible smell beginning to fill the kitchen. I immediately run over to Toasty and unplug them! Smoke begins to fill the room and tears begin to fill my eyes! Throw my english muffin out of Toasty and look in to see the lever melted into their wires. PANIC! FEAR! SADNESS! These were the emotions I was overcome with! Thankfully the fire alarms did not go off! But I sat there with Toasty as they cooled off from the accident. Unfortunately the only thing left to do was throw them away. I am saddened and horrified by the incident; why would someone put the lever into Toasty, I may never know. 

Please take Toasty’s story as a cautionary tale of how tragic life can be as a toaster! I will forever be grateful for the opportunities Toasty has given me this past year. Thank you and as always live, laugh, and toast. 

Categories: cooler, lucy powell

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