interview w/ the person who has committed all pranks against you

by kelseydeemer

As a hostess with the mostess in training I have thrown a few college house parties in my day. And we all know, when you throw a college house party, you will be college house party pranked. In the twilight of my senior year, I took time to sit down with a particular pranking party guest. Someone who, without fail, pulled a fast one on me at each social gathering. That joker! Though their pranks are surprising, it’s all calm water under the bridge for us. Join me on my stroll down memory lane with Leggy McPull.

addison schwarz

Thank you for joining me, it was good to see you last night!

Of course, thank you for inviting me to you game night, I hope you didn’t look at your monopoly houses too closely after I left.

Oh I didn’t need to! I could see clearly that you painted each house and hotel to look like little gnome houses. Your attention to detail and control over your brush was incredible to lay my eyes on!

Thank you, but that was really nothing compared to the chalk work I did outside a while ago.

True! I still can’t believe you chalked the entire sidewalk outside of my house to look like a hyper realistic top view of the grand canyon. People were double taking all day worried that the sidewalk had fallen in!

I owe it all to my days in the North East Prank Academy. They taught me how to toe the line of impressive, slightly unsettling, and just a little over the top when it comes to my jokes.

Right! Just like the time you turned my toaster dial all the way to darkest toast! Nearly harmless but an incredible detail I would never think to mess with!

Of course! You wouldn’t think any one would mess with your toaster settings which is exactly what made that prank so startling. 

I was certainly started when I burnt my last bagel, leaving me breafastless, depriving me of my most important meal.


You’re right. That was a pretty good one.

It was. But I have to admit, there may have been a time or two when I went too far.

Stop it, you could never!

Oh but I could. Remember the time I turned your cat’s litter box upside down? Leaving it functional as a litter box but just confusing for your cat?

How could I forget! I have never chortled so hard upon finding a prank the morning after.

That one has been weighing on me for a while. Your sweet cat didn’t deserve to be the target of my antics. 

That is ok. She’s a sweet girl but little Maybelline doesn’t know up from down anyway. A poop sandbox is a poop sandbox to her all the same. 

I’m glad you feel that way. And I hope you feel similarly.

The interview was cut short when a look of dread spread across Kelsey’s face. She excused herself from the at home interview to find her toilet inverted in her bathroom. Mr. McPull had taken a semester course from the North East Prank Academy on home plumbing and boy was it paying off. Speechless she returned to the interview room to find his chair empty and the door ajar. He strikes again! Never missing <3

Categories: addison schwarz, April 26, interviews, kelsey deemer

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