by salivapussy-eyes

Here’s a little-known fact about Burlington: our mayors love the bar scene here.

True though it may be that Burlington mayors have largely been out of touch, it’s clear that some of them are trying! Still, they’ll attend our silly little nights out. The question is how a mayor chooses to make themselves known to an audience. 

Of course, much like the variance in policy, different mayors have different bars that they value. A Burly Mayor’s Bar says a lot about that Burly Mayor. It answers the question of what drinks they like, but it also says much more– what kinda music they like, what kinda crowd they vibe with, what activities they enjoy. It’s not all about drinking, mind you.

You might’ve noticed that Miro Weinberg goes to the Archives and pretends to read. He’s trying to seem personable, but he’s not. He’s trying to seem like he could be good at the arcade games, but he’s not. He’s Trying to seem intellectual, but he’s not. One fascinating aspect of this– he’s trying to seem like he’s there for the community, but he’s not actually available to the people. Miro has main character syndrome, and it’s painfully obvious. Like it’s literally LOUD. I can hear him yelling “pick me!” from across the bar and the worst part? It’s barely even working, he almost lost to Max Tracy in the last election, and we have to assume that half of the problem is poor policy, and half is simply Miro being so cringe.

Long before I attended UVM, and long before Miro made a mockery of mayoral power, Bernie used to be the kinda mayor to go down to the OP and hang out with the great unwashed masses. I know this because my father was amongst those great unwashed. That’s right, Bernie would hang out with people our age, and ask what we thought. And yes, Bernie may be the fair subject of criticism due to his engagement with reformism over the destruction of institutions which have long imposed systemic oppression. But still, there was something special about the way that he used to tell kids that they were the future. Unfortunately, Bernie was speaking to Gen X. With this in mind, it may be unsurprising that– save for a few Waterman Green protestors– Bernie didn’t really inspire a group who had aspirations for the greater good of humanity. No mayor is perfect. In fact, it seems appropriate to say All Mayors are Bastards–AMAB– based on the well-known truth that All Politicians are Bastards– APAB. Even if you think a politician is safe, keep in mind that they lie for a living. And God help them if they actually get very far with it. If you want to remain a good, genuine person, never accept a position of power. Fuck yer boss, fuck the president.

Categories: April 26, review, saliva pussy-eyes