admitted students day, or zoo???

by oliviaconti

I woke up in my enclosure Friday morning with a pounding headache from the night before and snot running down my face from my spring allergies. I dragged my feet to the bathroom with two different flip flops on as their respective sets seem to have run away. My hair looks like a rat’s nest and my morning breath can be smelled from a mile away. I almost make it to the bathroom and then out of the corner of my eye I spot three visitors staring at me. And then the visitors start speaking? “WHAT’S IT LIKE LIVING IN WING? DO YOU LIKE IT? ARE THEIR BETTER DORMS ON CAMPUS? HOW’S REDSTONE CAMPUS? WHAT LIVING COMMUNITY IS THIS? WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND” College students have selective hearing and minimal intelligence before 12pm. They are easily frightened and feel vulnerable when found in their natural habitats. I scurried into the bathroom and pretended like I didn’t notice. 

An hour later I sprawled out in the glass enclosed common room in Wing and worked on the Wordle of the day. Who knows how long later (College students have horrible senses of time) I saw faces pressed up against the glass waiting for me to do something. I wanted to do something other than just lay hopelessly and stare into the distance but the agony of not taking the proper time to work on the Wordle and ultimately guessing it was too intense to move along with the pain of thinking about going to my classes. The people kept staring and observing the room which made me unsure of what to do so I just continued to freeze and hoped to camouflage into my surroundings. 

I found the will to bring myself to the dining hall to be fed before my class. But then a family of visitors come and cut in front of me right as I’m heading toward the french fries. I suddenly feel territorial about my food and ~my~ dining hall. I wanted to growl and to bite the visitors. But I knew that would be bad behavior and that being territorial and possessive was unnecessary. I waited a ridiculous amount of time but finally the visitors cleared and I was able to obtain my much needed french fries to fulfill my daily potato intake as a college student. 

As I walked through Central Campus after class I saw swarms of visitors with the blue University of Vermont bags and lanyard necklaces. OH. So these visitors are supposed to be here then I suppose. Throughout the rest of my day I saw these visitors observing the most peculiar things. I was working on homework in the Davis Center and saw a dad inspecting behind the fish tank and looking at all the crevices in the wall. Let’s hope he concluded that the building is structurally sound. Moms were pulling aside random people they saw to find out the truths of the university and the lives of us college students. And so many seventeen year olds were aimlessly running free! 

Finally at the end of the day the chaos of visitors winded down and all was back to normal in the universe of college. But in all seriousness and all jokes aside, Congrats class of 2026 and can’t wait to see you in the fall!

Categories: April 26, news, Olivia conti

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