music bros shut the fuck up

by emmaburns

I’m a person who gets irritated pretty easily and regularly, so I can passionately complain about a great myriad of topics. But one topic that I have particularly strong feelings about is when men ask me “do you even know that band?”. Holy fuck does that shit make me mad. And I’m not talking about when you’re in a casual conversation with some dude and they ask you if you’ve heard of an artist. Most of the time that’s casual small talk and I have literally no problem with it. What I’m talking about is when men you have never met before and would never have met otherwise cross the fucking street to condescendingly comment on my band t-shirt and how I probably don’t fully understand what it is that I’m wearing. I actually do, John. But even if I didn’t, it’s none of your fucking business. 

Even in middle school, that one creepy teacher would come up to me in the hallway to quiz me on my music knowledge. Why the hell do men do this??? Do you have nothing better to do with your time? At this point, I’ve decided to make a deliberate effort to know as little as possible about the music that I enjoy. I’m the kind of person who will blurt out the answer if I know it, and I have literally no desire to play into whatever game these weird, strange men are looking to play with me. I’m pretty sure you’ve already decided I’m an idiot before you’ve even talked to me, so I might as well be the most airheaded bitch you’ve ever talked to. I want to make you so annoyed that you punch a brick wall and break every single finger on your goddamn hand.

 I would like to be very clear that I hate the men who do this. Sorry to my parents who tell me that hate is a strong word, but that is what I feel when I see some dude with an evil glint in his lizard eyes who’s about to fucking get off to my supposed incompetence. I hope that I can speak for more than just myself when I say please leave me the fuck alone because one day I will fully lose it. 

Categories: April 12, emma burns, tunes