The other day my friend and I decided to dine together at one of the finest eating establishments on campus. I am of course talking about Harris Millis dining hall -perhaps better known as the Grundle. In an effort to be healthy (since I’m not sure if I’ve eaten a proper vegetable since winter break) I elected to eat the Simple Servings meal of the night which was turkey, potatoes, and green beans. As a potato fiend, that portion of the meal went down with no complaints, but when faced with the healthier meat and veggie options, I began to freeze up. The turkey was dry, I needed water to get it down. The green beans were slimy, and despite the purported health benefits, I felt like I was losing years off my life with every bite I took. Now I’m someone who will walk around all day feeling like I’m about to faint and wondering why until I realize it’s because I’ve forgotten to eat, so it was extremely important to me to leave that dining hall having had a full meal in order to avoid all that unpleasantness. And I did try! I promise that I made a truly valiant effort to finish that Simple Servings meal, but in the end, when I turned my head and saw that the chicken nugget line had all but disappeared, I gave into my baser instincts and absolutely loaded up on nuggets and fries. I mean, I absolutely piled those round meat pellets onto my plate until I walked away with more than any reasonable person would choose to consume. As I sat back down at my table, I could almost hear the judgment radiating off those pathetic vegetables, but I was fucking hungry ok and I wanted to at least somewhat appreciate what I was putting into my body. The fries were salty, the chicken nuggets crispy, and I ate victoriously. Except for that one nugget that had a pretty mushy inside, I thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience. I probably don’t even need to worry about my veggie intake anyway. I’m sure that those chicken caesar salads from the Marche count as vegetables, and I’ve got some guacamole which definitely has some health benefits right? Sometimes, I even put those hard and flavorless fruit pieces from the dining hall into greek yogurt and add some granola. That’s like the healthiest meal I can think of! The point is, yeah maybe green beans are good for me or whatever, but chicken nuggets are a classic meal and I’m almost guaranteed a good time when eating them and isn’t a good time the healthiest thing of them all?
Categories: emma burns, mar 1, water cooler