rogan v. young (2022)

by d.orkin

Rogan & Young Interview

Following a statement made by Neil Young, Spotify has removed the acclaimed rock n’ roll artist’s music from their platform. Reasons for this action included a distaste for some other content that Spotify has business with. Specifically, Joe Rogan. In this exclusive interview a water tower correspondent sits down with both Young and Rogan to find out more on this conflict. Maybe shed some light on what these two are really thinking…

Addison Schwarz

In this age of media consumption and information, what gives each of you the right to have yourself on this platform?

Young: Our kids are doing less rockin’ in the free world, and more talking in the screen world. It’s the computer age! It’s helpless! All I want is to mellow our minds and walk on. Does that answer your question?

No but I like those songs.

Young: Alright. Truth is, people don’t realize I have a technology influenced album. I love the new age. But if I saw my grandkids watching that bald fuck, I would lose it, just like Spotify lost $2 million after I served.

Mr. Rogan?

Rogan: When I was on the carnivore diet I learned something, eating only an entire chicken a day makes you feel awesome. When I heard the news, I was on acid, and honestly, I still am. I have all the money and I don’t give a shit.

I don’t really know what to say

Mr. Young, what do you have to say about Mr. Rogan?

Young: I’ve known some people from Hank to Hendrix, and none makes me shiver in my flannel quite like Joe Rogan. What a shithead. I would write a song about how mad I am but I was told no one listens to any songs I have released since 1995. Here’s what I have to say, until it’s after the gold rush and Rogan is gone, say goodbye to me, say goodbye to Joni Mitchell, maybe Foo Fighters, that’s that.

Mr. Rogan, what do you have to say about Mr. Young?

Rogan: When I was on the carnivore diet I learned something, eating only an entire chicken a day makes you feel awesome. Neil Young doesn’t look at the facts. Like the scientific fact that vaccines are fake and that I might die in the next five years.

Mr. Young, what can your fans do to find your music in these dark times?

Young: Coming to a store near you: BARN! Songs that were recorded in my 3rd barn. I have three barns. All my music can still by found on morally perfect platforms that treat their artists with fairness and respect, like apple music and tidal. I love those companies. If your set on Spotify you can still listen to my song Campfire with DRAM. It’s bad but like you said, it’s dark times, and that song was made for the movie Bright so..

Categories: 8, addison schwarz, d.orkin, feb 8

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