death by smut

by lucypowell

The day I almost died could also be described as nearly the most embarrassing moment of my life. I say nearly because if I had been found dead in the ruins of a plane crash holding a book FULL of smut, I think I would have passed away for a second time. 

It was January 14, 2022. The day had already started off upsetting. I was leaving my dear friend Benton in Colorado and was boarding a plane back home with a couple of my other friends. As I lugged my backpack down the aisle of the plane to my nosebleed seats, I decided I would try to read a little bit on this flight. Typically, I pass out the second the plane takes off; whether it’s my anxiety that knocks me out or the relaxing rocking of the turbulence, I really don’t know. As I settle into my aisle seat, I immediately fish out my book “Red, White, and Royal Blue”, by Casey McQuiston, from my backpack and crack it open. For reference, this book is a modern LGBTQ+ love story between the son of POTUS and the Heir to the Royal Throne in England. Unfortunately, it is a fictional story, but that doesn’t hold McQuiston back from getting down and DIRTY. This book is down right smutty, and in the best way possible! It had me giggling and smirking for the entire first two hours of the flight! Then, out of nowhere, I was looking straight into the cockpit! At first I was confused, but then I felt my stomach and heart drop as I realized our plane was dropping too! With my life flashing before my eyes, I grabbed my friend with my right hand and with my left hand I tightened my death grip on the smut, as if the book was going to stabilize me as the momentum of the drop caused me to float out of my seat! I could hear screams coming from all corners of the plane, until there was silence. In these few moments, my mind started moving in slow motion and I realized a few things:

  1. This was probably God’s way of warning me never to read smut in public again, especially on a plane.
  2. I despise flying.

While shaking off the shock of what just happened, the pilot comes over the speakers saying, “Sorry about that guys, just hit a little bit of unexpected winds there.” Unexpected! That was an understatement! I, someone sitting in the dead back of the plane, literally saw the cockpit!! Checking the flight map, I realized we only had about 20 minutes left of our flight. In order to not bring about any more bad luck, I closed my smut and placed it back into the depths of my backpack. I only pulled it back out once my two feet were safely back on the ground. Despite this horrifying near death, I did read my smut for the entire four hour layover in the Atlanta airport. I even passed it around for my friends to read. The lesson I learnt and hope you take away from this story is that smut should be something that is enjoyed while on the stability of solid ground. Happy Smutting! 

Embarrassing



Categories: feb 8, lucy powell, reflections

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