least bad tragedies

by wtstaff

As the sands of time drops ever steadily and slowly, countless tragedies have befallen humanity. Nevertheless, we persist and move on, continuing to fight each day. However, surely there must be some tragedies that are more tragic than others. Here is a list of a few that we think are just well… overrated.

Pompeii- big whoop, big volcano erupted and some people died. Maybe next time don’t build your city next to a big volcano. You’re just asking for it at that point.

The sinking of the Titanic- boo hoo some dumbasses didn’t see an iceberg and steered their ‘unsinkable’ ship into it. You can’t sit there at the docks about to set your ship off on it’s maiden voyage and give it the ultimate jinx by saying ‘this boat shall never sink!’. Like bro it’s gonna go down like that ship in shrek the third. QUICK. Now it’s rotting in the bottom of the atlantic ocean, soon to compketeky disintegrate and then everyone can truly forget about this unimportant nautical mishap. 

Great Molasses Flood of 1919- This one’s just funny. In the north end of BAHSTAN 2.3 million gallons of molasses stored in a tank decided that it didn’t want to be in that tank anymore, exploding and flowing ever slowly down the streets of the city. 12,000 tons of molasses would take the lives of 21 citizens. Imagine molasses up to your waist, grasping on to dear life while a newspaper describes it all as a “sticky stream”, that’s just funny. 

Imperial sugar company dust explosion- 10% of the united states’ sugar was processed in this facility the year before it blew up, and it blew up because???? Dust???? I don’t even want to understand it. LAME.

Dancing Plague of 1518- this one’s cool when you read about it. Like yeah sure it’s goofy people danced until they died all throughout this village in modern France. But then you realize: it’s 1518 and there’s no deodorant…  any everyone’s french…. and dancing!?!?!?!. That shit had to stink. 

Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger “Watering” the Plane on the Hudson- honestly wtf is this sorry excuse for an event in human history. A pilot flying out of JFK that said “oh shit, my equipment on my plane is being really weird. I’ll just fly anyways tho” only to, 5 minutes later, say “oh I guess we can’t fly all the way to our destination, guess we’l just crash in the hudson river ig”. What bullshit.

Categories: nov. 9, trash, vol 25, wt staff

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