alice cullen’s involvement in the collapse of the twin towers

by lucypowell

As many intellectuals of society do at the commencement of adulthood, I have joined a book club, a Twilight book club to be specific. This club is not to be confused with “Twilight Fan Club”. To no one’s surprise, the Cynic made this mistake in one of their articles and I’m still upset about it. Anyways, at book club, we hold very intellectual conversations about various topics; such as the symbolism of Bella’s truck, when we predict Jacob and Edward will get it on, if the series holds deep rooted misogynistic points of view, and whether Stephenie Meyer wrote the series as a self-insert fanfic. 

One of our recent meetings sparked some interesting discussion in regards to the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001 and why Alice Cullen did not stop this attack. For some background information, Alice Cullen is a vampire with the ability to see visions of the future, which are subject to change but many times hold true. Alice became a vampire and gained her abilities back in 1920, so she was around (technically not “alive” because Vampires are not living) well before 2001. Alice would have most likely had a vision of the 9/11 attacks, but why did she not try to stop it?

After much deliberation, the group finally concluded that the main reason Alice would not have spoken up to prevent the events of 9/11 was because it would have prevented the cancellation of the Ellen Show. 

Okkkkk let me do some back tracking for everyone. I know it sounds crazy but it’ll all make sense very quickly. 

To begin this strange domino effect, we have the devastating attacks on the Twin Towers that is well referred to as 9/11. These attacks immediately empowered the band My Chemical Romance to begin creating music that they hoped would “make a difference” in the world. Obviously they were successful, because young Stephenie Meyer was then influenced by the band’s aura and lyrics to write the Twilight series. Then, stick with me, we’re almost there, E.L. James wrote a fanfiction series based off of Twilight called Fifty Shades of Grey. As this series grew in popularity, it was picked up by producers to be made into a movie series! This prompted Dakota Johnson to be cast as the lead! Boom! The movie is a hit and the people loved it! As many other successful actresses once did, Dakota Johnson was set to make multiple appearances on the Ellen Show, where she dragged Ellen for her rude behavior and incorrect accusations. These interviews brought spiraling attention to Ellen and her unfair treatment of the people she worked closely with. 

So there you go, all thanks to Alice Cullen not saving thousands of lives on 9/11, we successfully got Ellen and her show cancelled. 

If you wish to participate in riveting conversations like this one, I welcome you to attend Twilight Book Club on Sundays at 3pm in the Fireside lounge. This week we will be discussing chapters 16 and 17, but no worries if you haven’t read that far! All are welcome!

Categories: lucy powell, nov. 9, reflections, vol 25

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