With the latest Halloween movie hitting box offices across the country this fall, I – and I know you as well – have been left thinking only one thing: this story could use some more flair. Well, luckily I’m here. And even though I’ve never actually seen a Halloween movie, I was traumatized by a Michael Myers animatronic in Spirit Halloween as a child though, and I have done extensive reading of the Wikipedia page, “Halloween (franchise).”
If you’re out of the loop, the Halloween franchise is comprised of twelve (soon to be thirteen) films. Keyword films, not movies, but films. Including but not limited to Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween III: Season of the Witch (which doesn’t even feature Myers), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later, Halloween: Resurrection, Halloween (again), Halloween II, Halloween (once more), Halloween Kills, and, coming soon, Halloween Ends. Each movie has a similar plotline (save for Halloween III). Michael has killed his sister, is committed and escapes his asylum to come to kill some folks in Illinois. Occasionally he is “killed” and, consequently, resurrected or he mysteriously reappears.
Seeing those names really makes you rethink your preconceived notions on cinema. I mean, what other franchise do you know that has the exact same title for three separate films? Wes Anderson couldn’t get away with that, or could he? It’s time we get a cottage core Halloween movie. I can’t think of anything better than the symmetry and thoughtful color coordination of Anderson’s films juxtaposed with the brutal and cold-blooded theme of a slasher movie. I can see it now, Jamie Lee Curtis and Michael Myers standing three feet apart as they stare directly into the camera breaking the third wall. It’s oh so Wes Anderson.