by mattmcgotty

I happen to be someone who missed out on the chaos that was Yik Yak’s initial run, so you’d understand my excitement for the anonymous, proximity-based social media app’s triumphant return out of nowhere a few months back. It feels like this app was made for a college campus. Daily inundation of confessions being yakked by everyone around me? This is solidarity. I will admit, not all good things were meant to last, and I already feel like this reboot has kind of run its course. Everyone thinks they’re a comedian on that app, and from people stealing tweets to everyone else beating what limited funny jokes there are into the ground, only to repeat it the next day, checking the app has become a bit of a chore. But that’s a story for another day. I wanna stay positive today and talk about some of the funniest, most shocking, and completely unhinged yaks I’ve seen so far during the app’s short run. In no particular order:

·       Question to the person who has an emotional support pigeon in wellness: why a pigeon?

·       Anyone have a face i can sit on while i smoke my blunt

o   “Easily arranged lol”

·       uv/them

·       twink in history class with the barstool shirt…why??

·       Describe your crush in 4 words

o   “Unavailable uninterested hot tall”

·       Where’s the gay party scene I’m so tired of these frat parties already

o   “Don’t come and don’t be gay”

·       Only freshmen give hickeys

·       UVM houses the worlds largest collection of tall lesbians

·       My crush wore a pride shirt today #downbad

·       I just woke my roomie up with the nastiest of farts

And of course, one that I will never forget. This is something that will stay with me to the grave, and something that is so quintessentially UVM:

·       Champlain got some creatures over there.

Well, the only thing UVM kids hate more than UVM is Champlain, and I don’t know anything more beautiful than that.

Categories: addison schwarz, matt mcgotty, reflections, sept. 28, vol 25