where’s the mariah carey shoegaze album?

by mattmcgotty

In an era in which social media is clutching our generation’s balls in a death grip that I know will only get tighter, one often picks a particular app as their outlet for their conflicting egocentrism and need for approval. For me, no place would be better suited for any wandering horny or post-boof thought than twitter. I’ve actually gotten so accustomed to tweeting daily that most of my thoughts come processed in the format of a tweet, only to be then subsequently twote. And it was one special September morning where that genius struck me. I was listening to Mariah Carey’s 1995 magnum opus, Daydream, when a particular hypnotic chord from one of her ballads resonated with me so deeply that I had to stop everything I was doing. “ok hear me out,” I gallantly proclaimed, “mariah carey shoegaze album.” 1 hour and two likes later and I knew my genius had done it again. I struck gold.

A few days pass and I happen to find out that following said 1995 pop masterpiece, Mariah Carey secretly released a mother-fucking GRUNGE album that same year. Here, Carey provided background vocals to friend Clarissa Dane due to her record label preventing the album from ever being tied to the pop sensation’s currently skyrocketing career. Hiding behind the alias “Chick,” Carey was able to step out of her comfort zone without ruining the innocent reputation her calculated little managers had meticulously crafted for her since her debut. The album is your standard grunge; think Alanis Morissette for a nanosecond and you’ve already gotten a grasp of the project. But that’s not what I care about. After hearing about this earth-shattering news, the wisdom of my little tweet was becoming all the more relevant. What else could this crazy bitch have up her sleeves?

To those reading that only think about Mariah Carey when a certain capitalist driven holiday comes around once a year (this is a direct call-out to my roommate who said these exact words), Mariah has been consistently dropping albums almost biannually since her 1990 debut. Not only has she been writing a lot of her own music from day 1, but she’s dabbled in pop, gospel, soul, hip-hop, and every kind of r&b imaginable. All I’m saying is, think about the damage she could do on a shoegaze album. I’m all for artists experimenting and before gen z drops shoegaze as quickly as they picked it up, let’s get Mariah in a piece of that trippy, reverb drenched pie. I mean, this queen can reach 5 whole octaves; think about the damage she could do with instrumentation as ethereal as that voice. I’m looking for transcendence, people; and if the next big things are 90’s divas shaking up their careers through the magic of shoegaze then I’m ready, and you should be too.

Categories: matt mcgotty, sept. 28, tunes, vol 25

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