Ah, the Met Gala, the annual parade of very expensive people wearing very expensive clothing going to a very expensive dinner. Actually I’m unsure of the cuisine at the event- there could be a Trump White House McDonald’s table situation going on in there for all I know. This year’s Met Gala theme was “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion” to mark the opening of the Met Costume Institute’s American Fashion exhibit. I guess that’s alright but personally, I think it’s kinda boring. I could probably come up with a better theme. Dead US presidents, different types of classical columns (Corinthian, Doric, etc.), paranormal beings, Neopets, to name a few… And I’m not even getting paid for this! Who knows if we’ll ever get to see Kendall Jenner dressed as FDR!
I do not have the space to give my detailed opinion on every single outfit but you can let me know personally if you are interested in hearing. I shall focus on a few standouts. Kim Petras had a very bold red carpet look, adorning a horse head (not an actual horse head, but imagine!). I guess if you wanna have a talked-about look, dress as a horse. I remember the prominent phase of American fashion where people wore horses. Cara Delevingne wore a shirt (eh, shirt-adjacent article of clothing) that said “Peg the Patriarchy”. I guess they wouldn’t let her wear a strap-on on the red carpet to complete the look. The patriarchy at work, folks! Megan Rapinoe, who is obviously lacking a stylist with any ounce of creativity, took the theme extremely literally, dressing in red white and blue. Come on! However, she was holding a card that said “In Gay We Trust”. Fashion redemption arc! My favorite fit overall was Iman’s. Very chandelier chic. She looked like the sun.
Of course I am going to have to address AOC’s “Tax the Rich” dress. As if Twitter has not said enough! My personal opinion is that the dress itself really could have looked better. A lot of the AOC dress discourse (ugh… the internet) has centered around how each seat at the event cost $35,000. “Tax these MFs”! But of course, most of these celebrities are but mere multi-millionaires who rather serve as a distraction or source of entertainment (depending on who you ask) to the viewing public, they are not the true culprits of capitalist greed (depending on who you ask). Also the designer of the dress is under fire for allegedly evading taxes! Yowch!
I have a few qualms with this year’s Met Gala- first and foremost the lack of representation for one of the defining eras of American fashion- 2012 hypebeast. Where were the snapbacks? Where were the shutter shades? The Osiris sneakers?
This year’s event was sponsored by Instagram aka Facebook, so it’s good to know all Instagram users played a part, however small, in this glamorous event by selling their data. And of course, dear reader, take everything I say with a massive fuckin grain of salt. A whole brick of salt, if you will. I never really know what I’m talking about. Maybe I don’t even get fashion- I’m the one wearing a t-shirt and jeans every day!