KABUL- On august 16th, the Taliban overtook Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan, thereby cementing their power over the war-torn country. While an air of regret, tragedy, and grief lingered over the dry landscape many white midwestern mothers were left wondering, “ohhh….now what about all those cute and innocent trained military dogs?”
Yes, Patty, what about all those cute, innocent, doggies….
President Biden- recent owner of a deceased dog- has been quoted saying, “fuck those dogs. I hate dogs. I even killed my own dog champ earlier this summer in June.”
This reaction has caused quite the stir among holistic drug facebook groups, and the UVM parent facebook.
So far what we know is that over 1,600 service dogs were deployed in 2017 to Afghanistan. I have personally yet to see even one of these dogs.
On September 11th, 2021 Donald Trump Jr. confronted the Biden administration via tweet, typing, “Not a great day for America’s Service dogs…. Even abandoned hard-working, AMERICAN service dogs can’t get a flight out!!! WTF!!!”
An exclusive source, who would prefer to remain anonymous, (the THIRD SUPREME leader of the ISLAMIC EMIRATE) has informed us the dogs are safer away from the white hands of American men clinging at their bellies and neck flubby.
“No longer will any American be able to take their echoing hollow shell of a body personified as loneliness and use these dogs as a band-aid. No longer with the cling of their collars remind them that they are not alone… for they are only lying to themselves and sucking the life force out of these animals. They are not your best friend…. they are mine.”
An eye witness has claimed that all abandoned military dogs have been located to inside Kabul Capital. Under the Third Supreme leader’s desk, warming his feet with their fur as he works.
Finally, Patty is a concerned mom of 3 and who was the first to bring national attention to the tragic story of how the U.S government treats service dogs, whom fought and cuddled for their country for over 20 years. She posted this on a Facebook page for Depress-Tea earlier this week.
“America’s treatment of their service animals will go down in history books as one of the cruelest treatments of any group, ever by the American Government. Though I love the comfort of my Columbus ranch home… Jesus has other plans. Tonight I leave, supported by my church, Our Lady of The Grateful Dead, on my 2021 mission trip to put my lil caboodle in the Kabul Capital Building. I storm in the morning… but not until AFTER I’ve had coffee.”
Patty ended the post with 2 minion memes.
“Not a great day for America’s service dogs that are still in the airport.” And Donald Trump Jr. tweeted that the Biden administration “even abandoned hard-working service dogs!!! WTF.”