an ode to my forced triple

by lucypowell

O’ UVM housing, 

you’ve failed once more.

And this one

really pushed to my limits.

I wouldn’t classify myself as claustrophobic,

but living in a forced triple

really, really

tests you.

Trying to fit all of our things into a room built for two

should at least cover ONE university requirement. 

The time I’ve put into stacking and shoving drawers closed

has greatly surpassed the time of 

a three credit course.

People tell us,

“Oh it’s not bad!” and

“There’s more room than I expected!”

And that’s because we’ve built up.

Everything is stacked.

The dressers.

The drawers.

Our beds.


I am nearly 20 years old and

every night I sleep

beneath my fellow 20 year old roommate.

Just two adults sleeping on top of each other.

Ironically, in my bottom bunk

there is virtually no 

sleeping on top of others.

Fornicating in a bottom bunk is embarrassing and deadly.

If you sit up too quickly,

change positions too quickly or

even think about doing it doggie

you will slam your head into the top bunk.

10/10 do not recommend.

Then there’s the use of my bed as the couch.

My bed is not just MY resting place but

it is the resting place

of EVERYONE who enters the room.

Just because my bed is low to the floor

does not make it

a couch.

So please, do not put 

your feet

on my pillows.

As I slumber in my cave each night,

I have the honor of sleeping with a crippling

fear that the bed above me will

crush me one night.

But, to my fellow bottom bunkers,

just remember, 

God gives his hardest battles 

to his strongest warriors, and

at least we don’t look stupid

climbing up to the top bunk every night.

And for the cherry on top,

UVM housing decided that 

the triple room on my floor,

should be given to a 

pair of roommates.
They’re lavishly living with extra space,

while a few doors down, we live in squalor. 

Thank you once more UVM housing.

Categories: creative, sept. 28, vol 25

%d bloggers like this: