O’ UVM housing,
you’ve failed once more.
And this one
really pushed to my limits.
I wouldn’t classify myself as claustrophobic,
but living in a forced triple
Trying to fit all of our things into a room built for two
should at least cover ONE university requirement.
The time I’ve put into stacking and shoving drawers closed
has greatly surpassed the time of
a three credit course.
People tell us,
“Oh it’s not bad!” and
“There’s more room than I expected!”
And that’s because we’ve built up.
Everything is stacked.
I am nearly 20 years old and
every night I sleep
beneath my fellow 20 year old roommate.
Just two adults sleeping on top of each other.
Ironically, in my bottom bunk
there is virtually no
sleeping on top of others.
Fornicating in a bottom bunk is embarrassing and deadly.
If you sit up too quickly,
change positions too quickly or
even think about doing it doggie
you will slam your head into the top bunk.
10/10 do not recommend.
Then there’s the use of my bed as the couch.
My bed is not just MY resting place but
it is the resting place
of EVERYONE who enters the room.
Just because my bed is low to the floor
does not make it
So please, do not put
on my pillows.
As I slumber in my cave each night,
I have the honor of sleeping with a crippling
fear that the bed above me will
crush me one night.
But, to my fellow bottom bunkers,
God gives his hardest battles
to his strongest warriors, and
at least we don’t look stupid
climbing up to the top bunk every night.
And for the cherry on top,
UVM housing decided that
the triple room on my floor,
should be given to a
pair of roommates.
They’re lavishly living with extra space,
while a few doors down, we live in squalor.
Thank you once more UVM housing.