by grantwoods

andrew salerno

My neighbors are vampires.

They stay up all night and are afraid of garlic.

It’s the woman vampire’s second marriage

And her new husband screws her hard all night,

Biting at her neck.

Sometimes her old husband honks from the driveway.

His windows are tinted, due to his aversion

To sunlight.

The two husbands occasionally share awkward dialogue when he comes to pick up the kids.

In common, they’ve fucked the same

Woman vampire vagina

And they don’t cast a reflection.

The old husband has a smaller penis,

But bigger fangs, he thinks.

He is bitter and misses his wife.

The kids split time between the two caves.

It’s hard,

But not as hard as garlic bread pizza day in the cafeteria.

She turned my life upside down, the first vampire husband thinks to himself.

He then realizes that the reason he thinks this is because he’s hanging upside down

Which is how he sleeps


Categories: andrew salerno, creative, grant woods, march 9 2021

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