by kelseydeemer

At 10:20 pm on November 12th, 2020 I was joined by Dr. Christine Lacroix. In a Chipotle parking lot. In a car, where the windows were very foggy.

Good evening Doctor, how do you take your coffee?

“Black, steaming hot.”

Last time I interviewed you was in February, how has this year impacted your studies?

“I don’t do much studying these days, I am actually an adjunct professor at the university. Teaching classes remotely from my office in Milan has definitely been a bit of a challenge but we are making the best of it.”

What is your favorite piece of the 2020 winter collection?

“I’m honestly, genuinely excited that animal prints are coming back. I feel like there was a period of time, I want to say 2012, where even wearing faux fur was seen as not ethical because it symbolized the act of skinning an animal alive. But I think the concept of bringing animal prints back and people being more accepting of it is something I can get behind.”

I like the, like, long sleeve shirts that you layer under things having zebra print on em.

“And it’s like, no zebra has died, everybody knows that. What’s the big deal?”

What is your dream bagel?

“I’ve had my dream bagel. It’s a butternut squash bagel with vegan, scallion, chive cream cheese and spinach from one Willow’s Bagels. Now I know that’s a controversial opinion to have as many in the Burlington community are repulsed by Willow’s Bagels. Some have referred to it as chewing rocks. And I just have a few questions for those people. Do you really hate Willow’s or do you hate sitting outside in a ray of sunshine? Do you hate a kind man who brings your bagel out to you and asks you how your day is in a not creepy way? Do you hate that it’s always ready in less than 15 minutes and they never get it wrong? Do you hate having, like, six different cream cheese options? It just doesn’t make sense to me. Willow’s Bagels is great and I say this with two PhDs.” 

Who is the main character of Twilight and why is it Charlie Swan?

“It is Charlie Swan in Twilight as it was written by Mormon Stephanie Meyer. However, had I been able to choose for there to be a rewrite from a different perspective, like she did with Midnight Sun, I personally would have liked to see one from the perspective of Rosalie who for sure had the coolest character arc when she became a vampire and killed all of the evil men in her life dressed in a wedding dress. Can’t be topped.”

Silk or velvet?

“Velvet.”

What is your research focusing on currently?

“Currently my research is focusing on the Milgrim experiment. Whether those who refused to do so did so because they were feeling morally compromised or because they just had an aversion to authority. Personally, when asked to participate in the Milgrim experiment in July of 1961 while I was attending Yale University, I refused because of my aversion to authority. I’m just wondering who else is in that boat and if anyone actually has morals.”

*laugh under my breath*

“Something funny?”

Sorry, no nothing’s funny, I just don’t know much about this stuff

“This, stuff? Oh. Oh I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and select, oh I don’t know, that lumpy blue sweater for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don’t know is that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis, it’s actually cerulean. And you’re blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002 Oscar de la Renta did a line of cerulean ball gowns. And then it was Yves Saint Laurent, wasn’t it, who did a line of cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers before it filtered on through the department stores and trickled onto some, tragic casual corner where you no doubt fished it out of a clearance bin. Ant what you don’t know is that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs, and it’s actually sort of comical how you think you’ve made a decision that exempts you from the fashion industry, when in fact you are wearing a sweater, that was selected for you, by the people in this room, from a pile of stuff.”

I’m so sorry I meant no offense I just-

“That’s all”

Categories: 8, kelsey deemer, November 17, 2020