by elizaligon

Recently, while walking down the street, my water bottle started to make the *swishswishswish* noise that can sometimes occur when a water bottle is filled with ice and thrown in a bag. This noise drives me absolutely bonkers, but I love ice cold water. 🙁 All of this got me thinking: there are quite a lot of things that I do that I don’t like in the slightest. In short, all of my habits are bad habits. 

Nail biter

To begin with a habit that is beloved amongst women who like women 😉 I bite my nails. Did you know that biting your nails spreads as many germs as licking a bathroom floor? Fact is, that’s pretty fuckin gross. I wish it was a gross enough fact to stop me from chomping on my poor fuckin nails.

Hair twirler

I also twirl my hair as a nervous tick. (And I’m nervous a lot.) If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that there’s a Blonde Bimbo occupying half of my brain, warring for dominance over my better half. To tell you the truth, that Bimbo is winning. I don’t know how she got here, but I trust her. I want her to thrive. Who needs all those brain cells anyway?

Sending Mixed Signals

Especially to boys. Sorry boys. ;(

Leaving Shit Everywhere

Did you know that my phone has been to Connecticut? I’ve never been to Connecticut, but last summer I left my phone in a car that was going to West Hartford. I didn’t notice for five hours. I also sent the scarf that my brother knit for me on a nice, month-long vacation in Massachusetts. My often-used items travel more than I do.

Layers

On a similar note, I have a bad habit of layering on our chilly Vermont mornings. We all know the right move in fall is to suffer in the mornings, because by afternoon, you’ll be sweating. Aside from forgetting this simple rule of New England living, I’m always leaving my layers around. Jackets, scarves, sweaters– they’re all mine. Sorry I left them in your classroom over the weekend.

On the opposite hand, there are times when I rush out the door with no more than a light jacket in hand. I find myself regretfully shivering, either in a chilly classroom or fighting the wind to get to that chilly classroom. I was not built for Vermont winters. My boogers freeze. 

Tea Waster

You all know one. I am a great disappointment to my family. Everyone makes fun of me for it. I am always wasting hot drinks. I cannot recall a time when I have finished a mug of hot chocolate, or tea, or coffee. Why? Some things just aren’t meant to be finished. (Just ask your girlfriend, hahahah sucker!)

Designer Destroyer

Have you ever cut a crooked crop top? It’s way more likely to happen if you cut the tops when you’re,,, yknow,,, Not in your Right state of mind. 😉 Unfortunately, some people feel most inspired to get crafty when recklessness inspires the flow of creative juices. In conclusion: all of my crop tops are crooked.

Generally being “too much”

Are you loud? Might you be labeled as “extra”? Are you your family’s biggest pain and greatest source of entertainment? Do you command the attention of your friend group, even (and especially) when you don’t want it? Yeah, me too. You just might be,, “too much.” 

Categories: eliza ligon, November 3, 2020, reflections