The Boys in the Band is a 2020 film based on a 1970 film based on a 1968 play which was playing on my friend Serenity’s TV when I went over to her apartment to get drunk and watch Shrek. She didn’t pause it or anything (rude), so I sat down and we started to half watch the movie and half talk to each other. After we had our little catch-up chat we continued watching the movie. This fine film is about a bunch of gay guys and one potentially closeted guy who end up together at an apartment in NYC celebrating one of the gay guys birthday. At a certain point all the boys (in the band) are too drunk and Michael (played by Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, which is weird) decides they are going to play a “game”, in which they all take turns calling someone that they truly believe they have loved, and they get different amounts of points depending on if the person they’re calling actually answers, and if they tell them that they love them. I don’t know if this technically qualifies as a game because I think games are supposed to be fun, but maybe this does seem fun compared to being gay in 1968. Due to the time period the first two guys to make their phone calls had unrequited love with men in their past that they couldn’t make a move on because of the danger of being outed. These first two men very much do not enjoy their phone calls, and at this point, Serenity turned to me and asked me who I would call if we played this game.
Now, this boy was drunk, having been slurping rosé and trying to gain the courage to ask Serentity to put on fucking Shrek already. Even though I was drunk I had successfully avoided joking about us playing this game because Serenity and I had dated briefly over the summer, I was still crushin hard, and I just did not want to hear again about this one asshole she’d dated two years ago. “I’ve never loved anyone” I said edgily. “That’s sad”, said Serenity, “I’ve loved two people, Georgie and Peorgie” (not real names but the second one’s real name is as dumb as Peorgie). I said something like “That’s nice”. She said something like “And I fucked Peorgie over the summer”, and I said something like “What?”. Through further questions it was made clear to me that Serenity got Peorgied at some point towards the end of when Serenity and I were dating. We cried a little bit. I recommend The Boys in the Band. I do not recommend trying to date a girl who is already your friend.