leopard gecs of burlington

by elizaligon

Q: Who do you think is the most inspirational artist of our generation? 

RUDY: (Rudy sits in my hand. They flick their tongue, and begin crawling further up my hand.) I am a fan of Henri Matisse, particularly The Dance. 

MANGO: (Eats a worm, looks left, looks right.) Pendleton Ward. 

Q: If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

RUDY: (Crawling slowly up my arm. Flicks tongue. Investigative glint in the eye. Head up.) I’d love to go to London to see the museums and the architecture. I’d also like to do pub crawl while I’m there. Tasteful drunk cig.
MANGO: (Stands still. Staring at the back corner of her tank.) India; that’s home to me.

Q: What’s your favorite book (Who is your favorite author?)

RUDY: (Resting. Halfway up my arm. Head kinda down. We hold up some books from Rudy’s interpreter’s book shelf. He walks toward one.) I loved Of Mice and Men. I suppose that makes Steinbeck my favorite.
MANGO: (Eats another worm.) Ready Player One. Favorite author… Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Q: Do you think you’ll end up going to college and getting a career, or would you consider yourself more of a drifter?

RUDY: (Moves sideways on my arm and looks up.) I’d like to attend Edinburgh college. I’d study philosophy there, and go on to teach and write.
MANGO: (Strong stance.) Drifter, for sureee. 

Q: Do you play any instruments? (What kind of music do you listen to?)

RUDY: (Tongue flick. Resting on my arm.) I like the Rolling Stones! I play the bass, and I think I’ll dabble in some bands but I can’t picture myself on the road. I’m a homebody. 

MANGO: (rests on rock) Yes, I play the harmonica. I exclusively listen to The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim soundtrack.

Q: Who are you voting for in this upcoming election? 

RUDY: (Looks at me deeply in the eyes. into my soul.) Listen, vote blue or bust this year.
MANGO: (Looks over her shoulder at me.) Unfortunately, gecko voting is not allowed in Vermont. I will be protesting instead of voting this year.

Q: Do you believe that this candidate will do their best to represent lizards everywhere?

RUDY: (Looks away, possibly ashamed.) I don’t know that he will do the best job, but I think that he will do less to tarnish the name of the lizard species, like Mike Pence did. Pence really fucked it up for us lizard people.

MANGO: (Looks over her shoulder at me, slightly annoyed.) N/A.

Q: If you could kick anyone’s ass, who would it be?

RUDY: (Literally just j chillin.) I would kick Ronald Reagan’s ass. You know why. 

MANGO: (Hides behind her rock.) Roger Stone.

Q: I’d like to conclude with a question that I ask all of my interviewees. If you could eat sushi off of anyone’s (dead or alive) body, who would it be and why?

RUDY: (Looks at me again. Neck moves a lil bit.) Stevie Nicks. My chauffeur, Marissa, and I have this little game called ‘What Would You Let Stevie Nicks Do to You?’ and this feels like a reversal of that. MANGO: (Peers at me from behind her rock.) Prince, but alive. Prince has to be alive.

Categories: eliza ligon, fireside chats, October 20, 2020

%d bloggers like this: