Since it’s finally the 54.39 year anniversary of the release of the Beach Boys seminal (that word has two entirely different meanings, look it up) classic rock album Pet Sounds, I decided it was finally time to give this masterpiece the track-by-track review that it deserves in the year of our lord 2020.
Wouldn’t it be nice
Dude this one slaps. The beginning sounds like an ice cream truck and that’s kinda weird but it picks up after that. The harmonies! The part where they sing “Wouldn’t it be nice”! I can’t get enough. I totally agree with the premise of the song: It would be nice if we were older! They’re right! We wouldn’t have to wait so long! This song has made me cry more than once. 12/10 Wouldn’t It Be Nice – Remastered – song by The Beach Boys | Spotify
You Still Believe in Me
This one sounds like an ice cream truck the whole time, it even has a fucking bicycle bell, I’m not kidding. The lyrics are also super whiny, there’s 20 seconds of singing where they just hold the y in cry. It’s as whiny as the engine of your weird uncle Keith’s 1997 honda civic if he turned it into an ice cream truck but made no modifications other than adding 900 pounds of ice cream and freezers. Bro your civic can’t handle that, no Keith, it doesn’t matter if it’s the Civic si.
2/10 You Still Believe In Me – Remastered – song by The Beach Boys | Spotify
That’s Not Me
I think this song was written by Keith after he realizes the ice cream civic isn’t going to work out as a long term career. It’s about trying out a new lifestyle and finding out that what you’re really comfortable with is being at home. This song has also made me cry but is not really that interesting musically or lyrically I’m kinda just a large baby. 5/10
Don’t Talk (Put You Head On My Shoulder)
The title of this song alone makes me want to cry and I give it bonus points for parentheses. The notes Brian Wilson — the beachiest boy — hits in this song resonate at the same frequency as my tear ducts I swear to Christ. I’m tearing up by second 45. This song has 9 instruments but somehow sounds entirely cohesive. It somehow says in words what you can’t possibly say in words! I love it!
I’m Waiting for the Day
This one is ok. It’s possibly the most wholesome song about being a rebound from a previous relationship that I’ve ever heard. Ok thinking about it more it’s making me want to cry. The narrator is such a good guy, I’m glad the girl is with him. There’s one line: “I’m waiting for the day when you can love again”. That really gets me. I want a patient, wholesome, Beach Boy-friend :(. 15/10 https://open.spotify.com/track/2Bjic7K9fTNS8pYuMXq8Va
Let’s Go Away For A While
This one is an instrumental and instrumentals suuuuuuuck! 0/10 Not even gonna put a link for this so-called song.
Sloop John B
This song is corny as fuck. Your music teacher made you sing it in 5th grade. Still, those harmonies though. This is the only song on the album not written by Brian Wilson and the record label made them put it on so it doesn’t really fit thematically in the album. They did change the last line of the song to be a reference to LSD 5/10
God Only Knows
This song kills me. The first two verses pull a bait and switch where it seems like the narrator is saying one thing and then he says the cutest fucking most romantic thing you’ve ever heard. This song is about every girl I’ve ever liked. Not much to say about this perfect song except go listen to it. 19/10
I Know There’s An Answer
This song is pretty is far out man. Mike Love, the only Beach Boy that wasn’t related to the rest of them, made Brian Wilson change the lyrics so that you couldn’t tell it was about LSD. But it’s totally about LSD. There’s a cover of this song by the pixies using the original lyrics and listening to the pixies makes you cool so this song is cool. Also makes me cry because I also wonder how I’m supposed to help other people when they don’t even know they need help. 9/10
Hey what a coincidence this song is about my life! I’m crying! This song is about when you take a romantic relationship too fast and hurt yourself. What a mood. It has an interesting structure where the narrator is a girl’s former lover talking to her new lover. Weird, but effective. 7/10 https://open.spotify.com/track/3Ev5ATks540KaOFTjIH97S
I Just Wasn’t Made for These Times
This song is where I go from crying to bawling my frickin eyes out. This one is about Brian Wilson’s struggle with depression. There’s a part where they just sing “Sometimes I feel very sad” over and over again, I relate. I relate to every line in the song. If you have depression go listen to this song but make sure you block out the rest of the day to sob. 9/10
Another fucking instrumental. And this one is the title track for the album. And there’s no fucking sound of pets in this track!!! I don’t get it! -1/10
I have mixed feelings on this song. The singing is positively angelic. The harmonies knock my socks off. But it feels vaguely misogynistic just because it’s a man making judgements about a woman because she cut her hair, really jumping to conclusions there, Beach Boy. But this song is a masterpiece musically. And this song has dogs barking at the end! The Pet Sounds themselves! 13/10
Categories: nevin bonak, october 6, 2020, tunes