the kardashians don’t suck!!!

by haileyivey

The Kardashians offer us classic American television, we cannot deny that. This show has been going on since 2007, and there have always been fine enough ratings. And this family has become ridiculously famous. Yet, most people you know are probably indifferent towards Keeping up with the Kardashians or may even dislike the Kardashians completely. This may be due to their idiocy, extreme wealth or obsession with looking and being “perfect.” I thought that too – I didn’t care about Kim or a lipkit at all until, out of boredom in March, I decided to watch one episode while quarantined with my brother. This is where I learned that my perception of the show has been completely F-ed up. This show is amazing. I would laugh my little heart out, even my brother enjoyed their airhead adventures. Since then I have watched 13 years of these people’s life and have learned so much. I feel so lucky to be obsessed with them. I am a fortunate patron of our Kardashian overlords.

 I realized this lately as I was going on yet another vacation with the Kardashian family. This was one was during season 16, a $30,00 trip to Bali. This is just one of the many vacations I have lived through with them. It’s so beautiful now to reflect on, they’ve taken me everywhere; we’ve done everything together. So many beautiful memories. This year on their trip Kim was on a spiritual search and Khloe was along for Kim’s shenanigans in searching for a “healer,” as she was recently cheated on the night before giving birth (just typical Kardashian stuff). While on their private jet, I choked on my cereal laughing listening to Khole tell Kim [us] that “it’s just hard to get over cheating.” Khole, it feels, is more so talking to me personally as Kim is asleep and no one else is in the shot. She is literally right, it must be so hard to get over cheating. I am reminded to imagine the hardships she goes through that is just like you or me, you know? Except, like Khole is drinking tea out of a porcelain cup on a luxurious aircraft and I’m smoking weed and tobacco from a dirty bong on my futon (ask, what is worse?). This trip is good for Khole, she really needed it. Life is just really hard and sometimes you just need to take a break and go on a chill trip with your family that takes four weeks and five assistants to plan and three jets to get to. She reflects later on the trip saying, “I just think it’s generally food for your soul.” That is so beautiful she is a genius <3. 

Throughout the show I am constantly trying to remember that they just keep it real, like the humans they are and not as fake people. They are a spectacle really and it’s unnerving to see how comfortable they are being that. (Real KUWTK fans will know that it’s actually really hard, and like, the anxiety is really real <3). I am basking in the knowledge of their life. It’s incredible how vulnerable people are willing to get for a TV show. I have watched Kris get her face cut into, Kourtney literally pulls out two of her children from a side shot of her leg up and dozens of other ridiculous things. They are so shameless in this show it is sort of sickening… but regardless, funny. Seeing these moments in their lives is so striking you are surprised. Like what kind of person would let their facelift surgery be shown on TV. I will never forget the sight of her face skin being moved. But Kris didn’t mind, she just wants views.

I imagine that the people filming the show must be in on the joke. Not too long ago Kim was trying to get ready for her first camping trip with her daughter North. Kim and Scott went to Costco and we got to watch them shop. It is not my first time with a Kardashian in this store and it is always the same. They do not act like people. They are amazed by their surroundings and look like aliens in the store, not dressed like real people but standing like them. Scott excitedly notices some “astronaut ice cream”, he offers some to Kim and they eat it in the aisle. Kim it seems is just learning about this and the camera goes in on her face chewing. As some type of dance music starts playing for a scene transition, the camera moves to the floor that has a great deal of crumbs for the small thing they ate dropped and it just zooms in and out on that for a few seconds. Why was that included? Why is that funny? Throughout the whole show we’ve seen transitions like this. Even better could be someone sharing some feelings and no one responds they just look., so the camera just zooms in on their blank faces and zero reactions. 

Since I am so invested in their lives I talk about them a lot. My roommate wants me to stop referring to things they do by saying “oh yesterday Kim…” she’s like ‘Kim is not your friend.’  After one week of watching the Kardashians I would start responding to things by saying intersante, my brother was like ‘you know that is Spanish right?’ I was like, “no, Kourtney says it”. 

We know that dumb people are funny. It’s an undeniable fact. But if you wonder anything about this family it should be how dumb can they be, really? Kim K is a lawyer. Look at Kylie and Kris– you don’t stumble upon billionaire status. You make it. They want us to think they’re dumb. It’s the same stealthy move that was pulled off by Paris Hilton, Kim’s mentor of the 2000’s. Act dumb, make funny shit, and people will underestimate you. Truthfully, it’s kind of genius.

Categories: hailey ivey, october 6, 2020, reflections

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