where are they isolated now?

by wtstaff

As the world as we know it seems to be falling apart, the water tower staff has had to face a sad truth. With campus nearly vacated, we are unable to meet for the in-person meetings that inspire the content of each issue. Many have left Burlington, and those remaining can be found pent up in our apartments, taking 3 showers a day just because it’s something to do. You’ve heard it before, but this social distancing is necessary to slow the spread of the virus and help protect the most vulnerable in our population. What we can do is check in on each other, so we asked our staff- where are you now?

After walking through a cloud of Lysol spray upon exiting Logan after spring break, she has taken to a cabin in the woods of New Hampshire. In just 3 days, she has watched every Epicurious and Bon Appetit video on Youtube, planned to eventually make some bread for the first time, and called out her partner for mansplaining how to complete the 100-piece puzzle made for ages 5+ one afternoon. No matter how bored she gets, she asserts “I will not download TikTok.”

Giddy with the joy of escape from Burlington’s frozen tundra, he made a grave mistake in underestimating the Florida sun and forgetting to apply sunscreen. Seemingly forever cursed now with the driest, flakiest skin the world has ever seen, he has holed up in his house to hide, apply moisturizer four times a day, and plot his revenge. Also to avoid killing his grandparents.

Fresh off the news that she’s not allowed to leave the country and hop off to Germany like a rabbit out of hell, Katie has now completely depleted her supply of pita chips. She’s currently afraid to eat the good cans of beans (Trader Joe’s non-fat refried), first instead of the bad ones. Due to her years in Catholic school and simultaneous new-found chillness, she tells herself everything happens for a reason and is just vibing through this time. Time is not necessarily controlled by “numbers” any longer, but instead by the number of TMG podcasts listened to in a row.

Baked. A cake. It was chocolate.

She turned 20 on Sunday (and she WILL be writing about it in the coming weeks). She didn’t have water at her house for a few days and now she doesn’t have hot water so she took a freezing shower today. It was cold. Also, she likely tore her lateral meniscus while listening to Grimes and skiing so she’s in a knee brace. Things aren’t great for Claire right now. On the bright side, she got a Nintendo switch for her birthday and is very excited for Animal Crossing New Horizons to come out on Friday. Also, one of her TikToks blew up (almost 200k views and over 30k likes, baby)!!!

Rachel is recently unemployed, and is passing her days much like a cat does, moving around the house searching for sun patches to curl into the fetal position in. The compression of the fetal position helps with anxiety stomach aches. She is trying to find stability in the small things, like the trees budding, robins singing at dawn, and Trader Joe’s frozen vanilla momos. Luckily 2 of her 9 roommates work at Trader Joe’s, so at least they are all together and eating dried sweetened hibiscus flowers during self isolation.

Syd is back from the Middle East without a tan and no more closure on any conflict over yonder. She’s been been shluffin around, smoking some pot here and there (shocker) and watching a shitton of movies. Suss trynna keep into perspective how lucky she is to be quarantined where she is. Her dog is super stoked for the whole family to be home and give him his xanax and prozac once a day… Syd assumes he’s relaxing. She’s sending good vibes to all yall cheeky fuckers. Stay safe and sexy.

Erin has been banished to her parents’ home in Boston to self-isolate. Her hands hurt from knitting too much and she just bought a bunch of tea online. After watching several seasons of the Great British Baking Show, she has decided to attempt to make a scone sometime soon, or maybe just like a muffin or something. She spends most of the day with her cat or asleep (usually both) and is considering laying down some quarantine tracks on voice memos if her dad stops yelling on his conference call in the next room.

Has chosen to remain in Burlington for better or for worse. His time has been spent eating bread and other pastries, shootin’ dice, and thinking about the ways this crisis reveals the dark underside of American ideology as its political-economic base collapses into ruin. Luckily, he has a Chromebook so he is unable to download any software that his professors recommend for video chat classes.

Is in Florida as he had planned to spend his break yelling at Republicans to “vote Bernie.” This plan has backfired as he has been stranded on Marco Island (full of Republicans). He had been advised to blend in with the crowd there, maybe buy a MAGA hat. Instead, he has become a hermit and refuses to interact with anyone. He hasn’t left his room in two weeks. The baguette he brought in as sustenance went stale five days ago. He hasn’t shit in years. Yesterday, he watched Kyle play Super Smash Bros on Twitch for two hours (and talked about making it part of his daily routine). He is currently ranting about how The Fault in Our Stars is mathematically correct.

Categories: around town, wt staff

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