Stoned Sophomore: if the chunks in my ice cream aren’t large enough to choke a toddler I don’t want them.
N Willard, 12:09AM
Dude in midst of pack of dudes: Dude, I just think of myself and the world and my place within it and I just want to vomit.
Immortal Being: You don’t know I’m not immortal – you’ve never tried to kill me.
Simpson Dining Hall
Motivational Speaker: Three times a week the whip comes out.
Weekly Water Tower Meeting
Editor: I’d prostitute myself for an AC unit.
U Heights South
Sustainable Student 1: What time should we meet in the morningn?
Sustainable Student 2: I don’t know, at least the a.m.
In line at the Farmer’s Market
Woman with thick New Jersey accent: “HEY! HON! THEY’VE GOT PICKLES ON A STICK!
Steps of the Library
Kid yelling into phone: WHO IS THIS? WHO IS THIS? Oh, sorry man. That’s just how my grandpa used to answer the phone. He’d just call someone and scream ‘WHO IS THIS?’
Outside the grundle, 8:07 pm
Dude with Goals: You know what I’ve always wanted to do? Work in a coffee shop as that person in the corner. The one who plays the bongos.