kelly’s smart bullshit

by kellyduggan

The beginning of the fall semester is always a tug-of-war between old and new. A fresh start

 

always brings excitement for new teachers, new notebooks, new outfits, and new friends–yet

 

the mere notion of “back-to-school” always carries a restless nostalgia in its Fjallraven Kanken

 

backpack: we stroll the floors of Bailey-Howe reminiscing about the first time we did so as

 

freshmen, or missing hometown friends from elementary schools’ past, or fondly reflecting

 

upon middle-school lunches spent hyperventilating in the bathroom before we even knew what

 

clinical anxiety was. As I sped past the new Andrew Harris Commons, already late for a meeting

 

with my new therapist to discuss old problems, I couldn’t help but wonder: did I have to pee?

 

Am I hungry, or just a bitch? Is romance dead? When did jewels turn into juul pods? When did

 

the waltz turn into unreciprocated oral sex? And how, if ever, did Carrie Bradshaw make enough

 

money off her seedy sex column to afford Manolo Blahniks? I stared down at my beat-up fake

 

Birkenstocks in disgust. Was she hustling on the side? Am I horny, or just bored? And, finally–I’m

 

a writer, could I do that?



Categories: kelly duggan, water cooler

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